Friday, July 10, 2020

Ophthalmology

Opthalmology medical satire articles

23 Million Americans Watch Royal Wedding, No Decline In Patient Care Among ROAD Docs...

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With the estimation that 23 million Americans had their eyes glued to the television to watch the royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, Gomerblog set out to study how this impacted patient...
potato eyes

Breaking: Potato Sees Ophthalmologist for Yearly Eye Exam

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BOISE, ID - America's favorite vegetable, the potato, went for its yearly exam today.  "Its five eyes continue to be in good health with perfect 20/20 vision," said spud ophthalmologist Dr. George Lemer with his...

So Much for Denuclearization: Korean Leaders Pledge “Enucleation,” Ophtho Consulted

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KOREAN PENINSULA - Though the goal for both North Korean leader Kim Jung Un and South Korean leader Moon Jae-in was for peace and a nuclear-free Korean Peninsula, careful reading of the April 27...
ophthalmologist

Ophthalmologists Found to be “Physically Weakest” of All Specialists

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New research has shed light on which group of physicians are the most physically frail and feeble. Emerging data shows that the top spot was taken by ophthalmology, with the remainder of the top...
blinded by beauty

Patient Permanently Blinded by Beauty, Ophthalmology Confirms

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ATLANTA, GA - In the emergency room (ER), Emory ophthalmologist Sebastian Fovea confirmed the diagnosis and broke the news to his patient Arnav Patel, who knew what was coming: "I'm sorry.  You have been blinded by beauty." Patel...
love at second sight nearsightedness

Most Cases of Love at Second Sight Due to Nearsightedness

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - We've all heard the phrase "Love at first sight."  But what about those people who don't fall in love at first sight?  According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology (AAO), love...
ophthalmology Mr. Potato Head

Ophtho Emergently Consulted to Reattach Mr. Potato Head’s Eyes

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BROOKLYN, NY - Emergency room physicians at Maimonides Medical Center did not waste any time consulting ophthalmology to restore the vision of Mr. Potato Head after he presented earlier today with a chief complaint...
Jupiter red eye great red spot

NASA Ophthalmologists to Treat Jupiter’s Red Eye with Artificial Tears

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HOUSTON, TX - The mystery behind the Great Red Spot, also known as the eye of Jupiter, appears to have been solved.  NASA ophthalmologists believe the red eye of Jupiter is nothing more than...

Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge

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As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most important, year of medical education. “This is the year right before...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Ophthalmologist Dresses Up as Doctor for Halloween

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Sporting a stethoscope and a white coat, 58-year-old ophthalmologist Donald Myers  decided to dress up as a real life doctor for Halloween.  “Isn’t it fun!” proclaimed Myers as he swung his...
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