Wednesday, July 1, 2020

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head lice

Frantic Mom Hires Exterminator to Rid Son’s Head of Lice

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PRINCETON, NJ—A major outbreak of lice has struck a local preschool, leading one frantic mother to hire an exterminator to rid her son’s hair of the icky bugs. “I do not play around,” said Mrs....
crossfit

New Mental Health Hotline Established for CrossFitters and Vegans

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Seattle, WA- North Seattle General Hospital held an emergency press conference today to roll out their mental health hotline for CrossFitters and Vegans that are struggling during the COVID-19 quarantine. “COVID-19 has touched everyone...

Healthcare Worker on Dumb Family Member Violence Increases by 86% in Recent Months

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Starting in March 2020, an alarming trend has been noted across all police precincts in the United States. Healthcare workers have been committing violent acts against dumb family members at a shockingly high rate....
post call resident

Resident workforce devastated by excessive wellness initiatives

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It was a gruesome scene in the medical resident workroom at Boston Health Alliance today. Amidst the grueling work hours, exploding COVID census, and endless emails, the inpatient medicine team took a devastating hit...
medical school speech

Medical School Teaches Corporations How to Get Workers to Pay for The Privilege of...

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NEW YORK — Medical students and patients alike were surprised to find the lobby of University Hospital swarmed with executives from some of the world’s largest for-profit corporations on Monday. The executives had been...
shoulder pain

Direct link established between pandemic and chronic pain relief

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During the worldwide pandemic of 2020 the US there have been unprecedented numbers of patients who have had their intractable, chronic pain conditions cured. Dr. Lumbago is an emergency department physician at Sacred Heart Hospital....
childhood obesity

China now referring to Type 2 Diabetes as ‘The American Disease”

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China has taken the brunt of the blame for the COVID-19 pandemic, both as the source of the virus, and for the scarcity of potentially vital information. While the city of Wuhan has been...

Medical Student Graduates Still Unsure of How a Period Works, Exactly

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Dan Honsfeld has officially received his Doctor of Medicine this spring without ever fully grasping the concept of womanly bleeding as part of the menstrual cycle. "I understand the rise and fall of estrogen...
ICD

Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face

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VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias but also doubles as a Covid-19-prevention device. Indeed, this new...

Anesthesiologist, Tired of Intubating in Era of COVID, Decides to Perform CABG Under...

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New York, NY - The era of COVID-19 has pushed the envelope in hospitals across the world, challenging care delivery models and allowing one ventilator to ventilate 600 patients at once. At one New...
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