Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision

IOWA CITY, IA – Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone at the nurses station, immediately regretting his decision. “The caller asked to speak with Nancy,” reports a clearly overwhelmed Reynolds. “I didn’t know who Nancy was and it just went downhill from there.”

Witnesses report Reynolds covered the phone receiver with his hand and asked somebody walking by if they knew who Nancy was.  Unfortunately, that person happened to be a patient’s family member who’s grandmother was named Nancy.  Five minutes later an elderly woman in a wheelchair arrived at the nurse’s station to take a phone call.  As exasperated Reynolds then shouted “IS THERE A NANCY WHO WORKS HERE? YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL.” He then dropped the phone and left the ICU for several hours out of embarrassment.

ICU staff didn’t understand why Reynolds would take a call he had close to a zero percent chance of successfully answering. “Seems every week some hotshot doctor answers the phone and needs somebody to bail them out,” said ICU nurse Betty Barnes. “Last week a cardiologist picked up the phone and was asked for directions to the hospital. He got real anxious and ended up saying, “new number who dis?”

At press time, Reynolds was seen on the phone trying frantically to find the button that opens the ICU doors.