Monday, August 10, 2020

Primary Care

colonoscopy

Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t

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COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out told them that Watts was simply full of sh*t. "He told...
bad diet

Doctor Accused of Body Shaming for Recommending Diet and Exercise

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TAMPA, FL - In a stunning display of insensitivity, Dr. Byron Myrtle is in hot water over accusations of body shaming and cyber bullying. Dr. Myrtle, who runs a successful Family Practice Clinic in...

Mother of Local Teen Decides to Go For It: Make Physical Exam as Uncomfortable...

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WESTCHESTER, NY - Local mother and divorcee Tiffany Smith accompanied her 18 year old daughter Kaycie Smith into the exam room, clinic staff confirmed. Kaycie, who currently lives with her father in Armonk, stated the...
doctor in er

Primary Care Physician Shocked to Hear Young Male Not Presenting for Penis Problem

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On Thursday, September 27th of the year 2018, Dr. Lauren Deeply Indebt received the shock of her life: a young healthy male presented to her primary care clinic without any genitourinary complaints. “I’m just here...

Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables

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With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround. “We used to just use nasogastric (NG) tubes for our patients who couldn’t swallow safely,” said Pediatrician...

Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!

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  The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients. An objective rating scale for the Emergency Department. Give the patient a point...

A Growing Trend with Men, Vasectomy Procedure Plans

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CHICAGO, IL - Recently a new trend has been spreading like wildfires throughout urology and family medicine clinics in the US…Vasectomy Procedure Plans.  Many men seeking sterility are taking the advice from numerous pregnant...
New England Journal of Medicine New England Journals

Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Sometimes it's better to acknowledge one's own shortcomings and move on.  That is why we're saluting a hero, internist Dr. Keisha Boots, for summoning the strength and courage to do something...

Local Hospitalist Accidentally Writes Best-Selling Fantasy Novel While Trying to Change EMR Password

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DETROIT, MI - Just last week, local hospitalist Dr. Blake Harrison came across a scenario that seems to happen every 20 minutes these days: his electronic medical record (EMR) profile alerted him that he...

Need to Renew Your ACLS? New Interactive Code Blue Simulator, ‘Resusci-A**hole,’ Yells Obscenities...

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It’s that time again. Time for you to buck up and go get your ACLS renewed before it expires. Everyone knows that after a certain number of years in the medical field, renewing ones...
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