Twas the night Before Go Live, And no LIP was in the house
No one was home yet, They were all with their mouse
They clicked and they copied, Working on charts all alone,
In hopes that someday Their notes would be done.
Their children were nestled All safe in their beds
While visions of their HIPPA compliant, easily assessable
Records Danced in their heads
And mom with her Mac, And I with Haiku,
Had just settled down With prescriptions to renew.
When out from my InBox, There arose such a clatter
I checked My Messages, To see what was the matter
And there in my EPIC window I saw like a flash
Many NEW RESULTS to address, And I threw up in a dash.
The screen glared on my chest, I was chilled like new fallen snow
I would NEVER be finished, This was really a low blow.
When what To my blurry eyes, should appear
but a HYPERSPACE sleigh and little tiny reindeer (say wha?)
With a little ole driver So lively, No loser
I knew in a moment he must be a SUPER USER
More rapid than Express Lane, His courses they came
As he whistled And shouted, And called Out by name:
“Out, Pencils; Out, Paper; Out, Epic 2017
Now GO LIVE, New Epic, Go two-oh-eighteen.
From outpatient offices, To inpatient halls,
Now update-away; Update-away; Update-away all
So up to the rooftop, The courses They flew
With a sleigh full of ELF SCRIBES And DOC SUPER USER too
And then In a twinkling I heard on the roof
Typing and clicking from each little hoof
As I drew in my head And was turning around
Down the chimney DOC SUPER USER came with a bound
He was dressed business casual, from head to his foot,
complied with dress code, With nary ashes nor soot
A bundle of Smart Phrases, He had flung On his back
And he looked so relaxed, As he opened His pack
His eyes how they twinkle His manner, so cool
He said: “I’ll explain EMR’s; I’m Doc Super User; no fool.
APRN’s do all my work, I bill for their time,
Elf Scribes finish my charts, It’s all so sublime.
My In Basket is empty; Results all reviewed,
Billing compliant; I’m 200 percent RVU’d.”
A wink of his eye And a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know, I had something to dread
He said: “I brought you New Epic; Now go; get back to work.”
He updated all the workstations. Then he left. What a jerk !
An laying his middle finger, Along side his nose
And giving a nod, Up the chimney He rose
He sprang To his sleigh, To his Scribes gave a whistle
And away they all flew Into Hyperspace, Like a missile.
But I heard him exclaim As he drove out of sight
“Happy New Epic y’all, At least, I’ll have a goodnight !”
