CDC decides to put all of New York on a ventilator

NYC, New York – The recent coronavirus outbreak has devastated New York City to say the least. Their infection rate almost out numbers the rest of the United States combined. With a shortage of ICU beds on the horizon and the lack of ventilators the CDC has decided to “just put the whole city on a ventilator.”

“This is unprecedented,” Dr. Fauci told reporters Thursday. “We are running out of options so I decided to recommend the whole city get ventilated.”

A large glass dome was constructed immediately. It was then airlifted over the city to effectively intubate New York City. “All new ventilators coming into the state, can now be dispersed to other citizens throughout the state,” Governor Cuomo proudly told reporters. “This ‘Fauci dome’ as we like to call it, is saving millions of lives.”

The citizens seem to be rounding a corner right now in the world’s largest ICU.

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