Thursday, July 2, 2020

Internal Medicine

shoulder pain

Direct link established between pandemic and chronic pain relief

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During the worldwide pandemic of 2020 the US there have been unprecedented numbers of patients who have had their intractable, chronic pain conditions cured. Dr. Lumbago is an emergency department physician at Sacred Heart Hospital....
childhood obesity

China now referring to Type 2 Diabetes as ‘The American Disease”

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China has taken the brunt of the blame for the COVID-19 pandemic, both as the source of the virus, and for the scarcity of potentially vital information. While the city of Wuhan has been...
ICD

Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face

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VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias but also doubles as a Covid-19-prevention device. Indeed, this new...
obesity

Breaking: Numerical BMI to be Replaced by Pass/Fail

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Atlanta, Georgia - In a surprise announcement that has stunned medical professionals across the country, the Centers for Disease Control has announced that BMI will no longer be reported in a numerical format, and...

Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P

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QUEENS, NY - In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but also did his own admission orders and H&P...
dialysis machine ATM machine

Nephrologists Propose Getting Rid of Sunday to Fit Dialysis Schedule Better

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WASHINGTON, DC—Most people enjoy their Sundays—a day off to relax, enjoy a boozy brunch with friends, watch football—but for hemodialysis patients and the nephrologists who treat them, Sunday is a major inconvenience. Since most...

White House admin to decrease COVID by turning graph upside down

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President Trump announced at a press conference yesterday that the White House would soon be advocating for a new approach to decreasing COVID 19 cases in the U.S. “It has come to our attention that...

SARSbola!!!!!!

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Publicists for SARS-CoV-2 and Ebola have announced that the two highly sought after A-list viruses are now joining forces to become this year’s newest power couple. But that’s not even the biggest bombshell. That’s right:...

Doctors shocked to discover patient with low pain tolerance

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Dr. John Payne, an orthopaedist at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia just announced a shocking discovery he made yesterday, while in his clinic. "I was seeing patients, just like any other...

No Prone Unturned: Critical Care Fellow Empirically Prones Everyone

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During this unprecedented surge of COVID-induced lung injury, many critical care providers have been brushing up on their ARDS management. But one physician is being be a little more proactive. In recent weeks, Pulmonary/Critical...
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