Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft

It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around.  We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never.  Now it’s everywhere.  What is also happening?  The mass-vaccination of our precious children.  Sure I was vaccinated and I don’t have the slightest idea what Minecraft is but that’s back when vaccines were safe.  I don’t see one copy of Minecraft at the Sparks house, and they are homeschooled anti-vaxxers.

Reports from clinics nationwide show that children can get 5 or 6 vaccinations at a time.  To me, that sounds like a lot.  It sounds scary.  Do I know what the safe number of vaccines to give at one time?  Not exactly, but I know it can’t be 6.  Six is a lot!  Would you order six entrees from the Cheesecake Factory for yourself?  How about for a child?  NO!  Would you wear six shirts and six pairs of pants at once?  That’s ludicrous.  Why are we giving so many shots to our kids?  Enter Minecraft.

This has got to be a ploy from Big Gaming meets Big Pharma.  Who else has the resources to mess with our children on such a large scale?  I’m a parent and I know what’s best for my child.  I don’t have to go to medical school or read study after study telling me what is best, trust me I know.  I would much rather visit my pediatrician every 2-4 weeks for the next 5 years than get 6 shots at a time, especially if that would cut down on my child’s Minecraft time.

Has your house suffered from the Minecraft explosion?  Let me lay it out for you, first there is the financial costs.  You have to pay $8 for the iPad app.  Then they want to play on your phone when you are out to dinner (ordering only one entrée), so there’s another $8 because you have an Android phone.  Then fork another $20 for the Xbox version.  Second they come to you and ask you how to feed their chickens.  Goodbye Friday night and hello internet.  We evidently have to grow rice, but how do we do that?  Urgh.  Should have just avoided all these vaccines.