He was admitted to school with a simple nod and a smile.
As a student, his attending would ask him for advice.
The lead surgeon assists him and cuts his suture.
Patients thank him for ibuprofen.
He shared a can of Coke with the JCAHO team during an inspection.
Press Ganey sent him a positive satisfaction survey.
Celebrity patients give him preferential treatment.
Insurance companies never make his patients get prior authorization.
He can cure refractory hiccups by walking in the room.
His patients are always PERRLA and neurovascularly intact.
He never had an EBL of over 50 ml.
He can reduce any dislocation by visual inspection.
Patients feel compelled to full honesty when he takes a sexual history.
He can stop SVT with auscultation.
Radiologists clinically correlate for him.
He can bill a level 5 chart without touching the patient.
Hospitalists call him to admit his patients.
He once delivered a baby without using his hands.
Everybody can read his signature.
Pharmacists have filled his prescriptions for laughter, the best medicine.
He has removed a rectal foreign body with a bolus of air by mouth.
Who is this man? He is the most interesting man in medicine.
“I don’t always count respirations, but when I do, it’s 16. Breathe easy, my friends.”