Hey, cave dwellers: medicine is broken. To fix it we’re going to need a little elbow grease. Here are GomerBlog’s sure-fire Tips for Fixing Healthcare:
Stall, until everyone that is complaining reaches age 65
In order to eat food at McDonald’s, people must pass a yearly physical with normal lipids and BMI
Revert back to the 1850s and give everyone Dr. McKinster’s Elixer: one sip cures ‘em all
Rename the ER, ‘Primary Care’ so that every uninsured person now has a primary care clinic they go to
Print everyone Congressional ID cards, everyone completely covered
More medical coding, because clearly there aren’t enough medical diagnostic codes available, checking more boxes and more time coding on each patient has been proven to lead to high patient satisfaction and improved care
Stop putting radioactive waste in drinking water, drastically reducing the amount of cancer
Advertise hospitals with a picture of someone getting an IV, admission rates lower
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