VA Success Story: Vietnam Vet Has Bamboo Shiv Removed

PHOENIX, AZ – Local Vietnam vet, Chuck Rhodes, was finally approved to see a doctor about getting a bamboo shiv removed that impaled his right chest during the war.  He applied through the VA for care after he returned home from the war and just yesterday his request was just processed and approved! Success.

“Wow, this is great news,” said Chuck.  “vI’ve heard horror stories about some vets dying while waiting to receive care.  Not me!  I’m so excited to get this thing out next month.  So thankful I’m getting the care that was promised to me.”

The bamboo shiv perforated his chest almost 45 years ago during hand-to-hand combat in the jungle.  “Oh I got him good,” Chuck said with a smirk.  “But I still think of him almost everyday when I put on my clothes, try to drive a car, or anytime I look to the right.”

In an excellent example of government-run health care, this vet is getting the care he needs.  In fact while he was waiting in line for care he was approved for weekly blood transfusions because his wound wouldn’t stop oozing.

The good news train doesn’t just stop there, Dr. George, Chuck’s surgeon, thinks that this procedure may get him off oxygen.  “Well his right lung has been collapsed for 40 some years, and his left lung has severe COPD, when I bring up his right lung he’ll essentially have brand-new lung.  A 20-year-old lung kept in a time capsule of pneumothorax,” he said in astonishment.  “This story may have a happy ending after all.”

“When people mention the VA and claim that our veterans aren’t getting the care they have been promised,” VA Chief Robert McDonald told reporters.  “Just remember this success story: Chuck Rhodes, American hero.  The VA will remove his bamboo shiv, and his quality of life will improve, all thanks the the VA!  I bet he had a blast waiting in line, just like all those people at Disney.”