Martin Shkreli raised the price of Daraprim, a drug used in the treatment of toxoplasmosis, from $13.50 to $750 per pill. Who is Martin Shkreli ? GomerBlog is here to provide the facts:
At only 32 years of age, he is already quite despicable
Millions of people refer to him affectionately by his nickname: A**hole
He is the son of Lord Voldemort
He is a hobbit
He is a reason why remote controls have a “MUTE” button
He is a fan of both Dr. Oz and The View
He actually cheered when Luke loses his hand in The Empire Strikes Back
Tiny penis but a giant dick
Favorite person is himself, followed closely in second by himself
Unlike a fine wine , he sucks
Keeps warm at night with blankets made of hundred-dollar bills
Easily aroused by people suffering
Don’t be fooled: his face is very punchable
Has an excellent dentist for all those times his teeth get knocked out
Believes there is an “I” in “TEAM”
If he were President of the United States , he would sell it and make a profit
Whereas humans are 70% water, Shkreli is 100% scum
Enjoys being ejaculated on
A new condition that causes incessant anal seepage and syphilis to be named Shkreli syndrome
Bought the rights to air and napkins , and plans to jack up prices for both
Plan to use the millions earned to repair his damaged reputation
Currently seeking the rights to sunlight
Did the impossible: made us despise pharmaceutical companies even more
