Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

Salmonella Special

Cafeteria’s Salmonella Special Particularly Tasty Today

MIAMI, FL – Staff at Miami Medical Center are impressed with the hospital cafeteria’s ...

dialysis machine ATM machine

Med Student Mistakes Dialysis Machine for ATM Machine

NASHVILLE, TN – As much as they wanted to help out third-year medical student ...

wallet aorta

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta

NEW YORK, NY – As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient’s sternum closed after ...

a**hole a**holes scope

Nitwit GI Doc Leaves Scope in Patient’s Colon Again

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – “Gosh darn it!” exasperated nitwit gastroenterologist Steven Moravsky uttered in ...

chapped lips

Breaking: Man Dies of Extremely Chapped Lips

NEW YORK, NY – Ryan Andreoli knew the end was coming when he licked ...