Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
clinical oyster clinical pearls

Doctor Shucks Clinical Oysters to Find Clinical Pearls

BIRMINGHAM, AL – Having concluded that the doling out of clinical pearls to new University of ...

CDC headquarters, ignore, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn

Why Not: CDC Recommends Adding Vanco & Zosyn to the Water

ATLANTA, GA – Finally accepting the reality that antibiotic stewardship among health care professionals ...

Apple iPhone X Crotch IDApple iPhone X Crotch ID

Breaking: Apple’s iPhone X Introduces New Crotch ID Feature

CUPERTINO, CA – One more thing: Apple CEO Tim Cook has announced a new ...

paper cut level VIII trauma center

Level VIII Trauma Center Can Only Take Care of Paper Cuts Really

SANDERSVILLE, GA – Sandersville Medical Center, a recently-opened Level VIII Trauma Center located two ...

totem poll

Med Student Begins Long, Long Climb Up the Totem Pole

SOMEWHERE AT THE BOTTOM BUT DEFINITELY FAR FROM THE TOP – Realizing that the commonly-used ...

tangent

Patient Goes on Tangent About Sines & Cosines

ATLANTA, GA – Though primary care physician (PCP) Evelyn Waters asked patient Phillip Rose ...