Spouse of Surgical Resident Charged with Polygamy

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YONKERS, NY – 27-year-old Emily Follingsworth was charged with polygamy yesterday in Yonkers, NY, days after her second wedding.  Follingsworth, a spouse of a fifth-year neurosurgical resident, could not believe what she had done.

surgical spose arrested“I had completely forgotten that I was previously married!” said Follingsworth.  At first glance, most thought that she had just divorced Dr. Greg Follingsworth, but after digging deeper, the story became very different.

“Seriously, I had no recollection of having a husband until the cops pulled me over days after our honeymoon,” said Follingsworth.  Things started to click when she was shown a picture of her first husband.  “I can’t believe I forgot about being married to him.  I hadn’t seen him in years.  I just thought we were friends on Facebook that hadn’t seen each other in a while.”

Follingsworth’s second groom, a dermatology resident, was equally as shocked as he also had no idea that Emily was married already.  “Wow, I usually saw Emily everyday after my dermatology clinic ended at 3 PM, well, most of the time at 2 PM, depending on any inpatient consults which were really, really rare.”

Dr. Follingsworth could not be reached for comment as he was scrubbed in on an 18-hour craniotomy, with 13 consults awaiting him, and 53 patients still to round on in the evening.

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  • Avatar
    zzlangerhans

    None of which are actually necessary to be capable of prescribing steroids of various potencies to all your patients.

  • Avatar
    George E Wright III

    I can’t waste my precious time reading something so fucking stupid.

  • Avatar
    Tara Domash-Martinez

    Freaking hysterical!

  • Avatar
    Monica Coffey

    Well, at least she remembered to get married (twice,oops.)

  • Avatar
    Maxim Eckmann

    Technically it’s called polyandry – just sayin’

  • Avatar
    Pratika Bhokare

    Seems fake!

  • Avatar
    Linda Hamilton Roessner

    Very funny!

  • Avatar
    Samantha Addison

    Ahahahahaha

  • Avatar
    Rhea White

    Marel Ver how true is this? Lol!

  • Avatar
    Matthew M. Roberts

    You can have an easy life or save lives. Choose. -Pimple Popper, MD

  • Avatar
    Lourdes Gerardo

    Merry Christmas and may this coming new year be a prosperous ,and fulfilling year,career and personal wise.

  • Avatar
    Brendon Spencer

    If only!

  • Avatar
    Jennifer Thomas-Goering

    Hahaha!!

  • Avatar
    Christopher Chow

    Love this satire page

  • Avatar
    John Gordon Morrow

    And that’s why you have to be AOA, 4.0 GPA and at least 10 published primary authored, peer-reviewed papers to get an interview for a derm residency.

  • Avatar
    Michael Wackell

    Sooo Fake

  • Avatar
    Jacob Liljenquist

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Derek Seib

    bahahaha (and omg when will people realize the gomerblog like the onion and the colbert report is all satire?!)

  • Avatar
    James Fang

    biggest dumbass fake story ever

  • Avatar
    Mark Rikard

    This is a joke, right?

  • Avatar
    William Preau

    Sad but true !!!

  • Avatar
    Geri Wong

    This is crazy

  • Avatar
    Elsa Thomas

    Hilarious!

  • Avatar
    Samantha Wood

    Jennel San Agustin

  • Avatar
    Casca

    I thought it was the Lawyer who got the girl…and the house in Hawaii, Colorado and Europe

  • Avatar
    Viv Marie

    Moral of the story…. Everyone should become a dermatologist

  • Avatar
    Alex Gitelman

    Alex Gandelman

  • Avatar
    Lana Shikhman

    Yes. I fear this Sanda Vujnić!

  • Avatar
    Christina Batten
  • Avatar
    Rebecca Schulze

    Morgan Schulze

  • Avatar
    Myra Eckstein Mogilner

    Really very funny but rooted in some truth!

  • Avatar
    Asti Pilika

    Polyandry, bro :-) Learn English, would you!

  • Avatar
    Sanda Vujnić

    hillarious Beth Ginsburg Lana Shikhman

  • Avatar
    Kate McQueen

    Moral of the story – the dermatologist gets the girl

  • Avatar
    Marie Pham

    Khaled Effendi

  • Avatar
    Olga Nosol

    Haha. Haha

  • Avatar
    Benzion Blech

    Lakie Blech

  • Avatar
    Varun Balakrishna

    Why is polygamy illegal?

  • Avatar
    David May

    Roberta Russell May

  • Avatar
    Liz Horn Pršić

    How could she forget him? Mine wakes me up every morning at 5:15!

  • Avatar
    Roberta Craft

    I can relate to the neurosurgery lack of life ….. Sad but true…. Reason you must love what you do!!

  • Avatar
    Taeler Ham

    Stupid!

  • Avatar
    Lori Thornbrue

    Haaaa!!!!

  • Avatar
    Linzi Kramp

    Nice attempt. Polygyny is when a man has multiple wives. Polygamy is the general term for any marriage involving more than two spouses.

  • Avatar
    Kevin M. Sullivan

    Polygamy is a man with one too many wives. Monogamy is the same thing

  • Avatar
    Kristina Jose

    Brian Holley Jr

  • Avatar
    Jared Garlick

    Sadly quite true. Haha

  • Avatar
    Rachel Schuster Hoffman

    Tamara Hansen Reese

  • Avatar
    Ryan McCorkle

    Davi Arnold McCorkle

  • Avatar
    Traci Kruse

    Amod Damle

  • Avatar
    Andrew Tiemann

    Nice spoof, but the devil is in the details. A woman with multiple husbands is polyandry.

  • Avatar
    Jihea Helme

    Heather Han

  • Avatar
    Zahra Kent

    Rob Kent

  • Avatar
    Michelle Bagent Coleman

    Lol…probably you, Brandon Brooks:). Are you sure you are still married??

  • Avatar
    Dan Brancheau

    Samantha Addison

  • Avatar
    Kerry Penman Gaines

    Matthew Mark Gaines

  • Avatar
    Heather Martin Frodsham

    Is that wrong?!??

  • Avatar
    skindoc

    As a dermatologist, I cackled with glee over the next-to-last paragraph.

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