Local Man Presents to Urgent Care, Complaining of ‘Caulk Stuck to Hands,’ Oblivious to Why This is Funny

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SIOUX CITY, IA – Benjamin Dover, 43, a painter in Sioux City, Iowa, reports being greeted with “smirks and laughter” upon his recent visit to the E-Z Urgent Kare on Atwood Avenue after some of his workplace materials became affixed to his skin.

“So when the secretary asked me why I was at urgent care, I told her I had some caulk stuck on my hands, and she turned bright red and started, I dunno, making those little spurting noises that people make when they’re trying to keep from laughing,” says Dover.

“I held up my hands to show her the caulk, and I guess she couldn’t see it, since it was kinda dried up and faded, so I said, ‘The caulk is pretty tiny but you can still feel it if you put your finger on it,’ and that just seemed to set her off again, with the choking and the giggling.  So I thought maybe she has that ‘Tourist’s Syndrome’ thingy that makes you do weird things and you can’t control it – but then 10 minutes later, the DOCTOR did the same thing when I showed him my hands, so I don’t know…”

Dover’s hands were treated with rubbing alcohol, which he says quickly removed the caulk. “It was amazing!  The doc was just rubbing the caulk and it fell right off!  That’s what I told him, and he must’ve needed to pee or something because he just dropped the gauze pads on the floor and rushed out of the room.”

World’s funniest homonym

Despite the bizarre personnel behaviors he encountered at the Urgent Kare, Mr. Dover says he would go back there again if he needed medical help.  “Oh yeah, they may be kinda nuts, but they know their stuff, so I don’t hold that against ’em.  In fact, next time I see that doc around town, I’ll just walk right up to him, stick out my hand, and say, ‘Hey doc, Ben Dover here, you took good care of that caulk on my hands and I want to say thank you!”

  • Dr.Cranquis

    Dr. Cranquis is a contributor but is better known for his Tumblr blog: “I’m an American physician who works in an Urgent Care clinic. I see lots of stupid or funny things that people do with-and-to their health. I cope by mumbling under my breath (and then posting about it on this pseudonymous blog). Thought you might be interested. “

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