monkeys jumping on the bed

After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’

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monkeys jumping on the bed
Dr. Turncoat looking at the 9th bad head scan

BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down.  “That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell her same thing every time.  You’d think after the second phone call she’d get the picture.  Those little monkeys [her children] jumping on the bed are creating a lot of work for me.”

“Continuously jumping off and bumping their head, she calls me every time.  After 8 times I’m not going to say something different.” He then told her to bring the child in and no more jumping on the bed.  “I’m getting pretty tired of repeating myself!”

Head trauma specialist Dr. Turncoat went on to describe that the mother would bring her child into the hospital with a large head injury, and he’d admit them to Neurosurgery.  She would then drive home to find the rest of her kids were jumping on the bed.  “This has been going on ALL DAY!  Just get rid of the *expletive* bed.”

He was trying to figure out how this could happen by playing Monday-morning-quarterback.  “Is the bed placed at an angle?  I mean 10 kids on a bed, yes; one will get pushed off, but only two?  And why didn’t she just take all her kids to the hospital when she brought the first child in?  Who is watching them all?  Something is very odd.”

The mother in question has 10 children and is experiencing a terrible run of bad luck today.  Currently she is in the emergency department with her ninth child who has the same head injury as all the previous children.  “If she goes home to find her last child has a concussion, people will speak of this for centuries to come.”

“Has anyone called CPS yet?”

  • Lord Lockwell

    Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.

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