Raising Obesity BMI Classification to 35 Would Cut Obesity Rates by 42%

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WASHINGTON, DC – Obesity has become a significant burden upon the medical system in the United States and the American Medical Association (AMA) has decided to fight back. Last year, the AMA took steps to proclaim obesity as a medical disease.  Now the medical community is looking for more ways to fight this epidemic and they may have found an answer.

“What is wrong with my toes?”

“Diet and exercise techniques are obviously failing big time,” says Dr. Mark Henderson, an obesity specialist.  “Surgery and medications just can’t keep up with the demand.  We need to attack this problem differently than other medical diseases.”  The AMA and the American Obesity Society developed a new plan to significantly drop obesity rates overnight.

A new proposal to increase the body mass index (BMI) classification for obesity from 30 to 35 would reduce obesity rates by a staggering 42%.

“Overnight, we could significantly turn the tables on this disease by eliminating it in 42% of the population.  I don’t know any diet or exercise plan that can do that!”

45-year-old Marcus Williamson is excited about the new proposal.

“I sort of felt guilty about being overweight with my BMI being 32.  With this new proposal, I can visit fast-food restaurants twice a day instead of just once and not feel bad, you know, since I’m not ‘obese’ anymore.”

CNN posed a question to the AMA in presenting them with the idea that they were just “moving the goalposts” and not actually curing obesity.  The AMA responded, “No, not at all.  Obesity is still a subjectively objective term.  We have just changed our perception of obesity.  I mean did you see the episode on TLC about the 700-lb man.  That show makes 300-lb people look ridiculously thin.”

  • Doktor Schnabel

    Plague doctor from 1622 who practices blood letting and medical satire. My beak has mint leaves and straw to protect myself from the plague...plus it looks good.

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