Carinii Sues Pneumocystis for Alimony After He Runs Away with His Secretary Jirovecii

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I want the drapes, so the world can see how much of an a-hole you are

MALIBU, CAGomerBlog recently came across a public filing Thursday that had shocking implications.  Carinii, long known to be the partner of Pneumocystis, has filed suit against him claiming that he has been having an on-again-off-again relationship with Jirovecii since the beginning of Pneumocystis Carinii marriage.

When the famous couple officially broke up in 2005, it sent the medical community in shock.  Later it was revealed that Pneumocystis was more of a Fun-Guy than a Pro-Tist, which everyone initially thought.  “I mean we all really knew it,” Dr. Jan Hoffman an immunologist who specializes in these types of relationships told GomerBlog, “but Pneumocystis Carinii just felt and feels right.”  Many now accept the Pneumocystis Jirovecii couple as the years went on, although many refuse to change from Pneumocystis Carinii.

Unfortunately people still continued to call the new Pneumocystis Jirovecii power couple PCP.  “Everyone knows the ‘C’ stands for Carinii, it always had, and always will,” Carinii told reporters.  “We made sweet, sweet pneumonia together.  That ‘C’ was for me!”

Carinii is using this and recent evidence that Pneumocystis was dating Jirovecii (then known as only having one ‘i’ at the end of her name) in 1976.  Then again in 1999 rumors were flying that there was DNA evidence Pneumocystis and Jirovecii hooked up.

When Pneumocystis and Jiroveci finally got together in 2005 she added the second ‘i’ to her name.  This caused Carinii to go crazy and was placed in a mental health hospital for 2 years after an assignation attempt on Jirovecii by throwing Bactrim at her.

“She moves in on my life, lives in my lungs, and wears my cloths, urgh!” Carinii paused to close her eyes and take some deep breaths and continued calmly.  “Then she changed her name to be more like me.  That was the nail in the coffin.”

cariniiWhen famous divorces occur, as in most break ups, not only their things are divided, so are their friends.  Sources say what really bothers Carinii is socializing with the famous Henry Ivan Vonston. Henry Ivan Vonston, or Hi-five, is known for his lavish parties that not even local authorities can handle, and Pneumocystis Carinii was almost guaranteed to be there along with Kaposi.  To Carinii’s displeasure, Jirovecii now attends these events with Pneumocystis.

Carinii then started to rant saying “That euro-trash comes into my life…” Jirovecii, pronounced “yee row vet zee” despite the hard-J many Americans try to give it, was actually born in the U.S. but her parents were from the eastern bloc, Soviet Union, area now known as the Czech Republic.

Carinii is suing Pneumocystis for alimony payments and defamation of character.  When Jirovecii was asked to respond, she called Carinii “a rat.”  These kitties have claws.  It may get ugly.

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