CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh, Boy!  0.1 mg, I can hardly wait.  Goodbye, pain,” chimed in Jacobson.

“So excited to waste 1.9mg!”

“The annoyance to some – not me, of course – of wasting the rest of the pain medication is totally made up by knowing my patient’s pain will be taken care of with 0.1 mg of Dilaudid,” she said almost skipping, but not real skipping because skipping with a needle is the medical equivalent of running blindfolded with scissors.

Melissa stated that finding someone to waste the other 1.9 mg every 1-2 hours will help her bond with her fellow co-workers.  “I don’t mind asking someone else to stop what they are doing and take 5-10 minutes of their time to waste with me.  There is no way I’m carrying around the medication and breaking Joint Commission protocol,” she said on her way to the break room, where her food and drink were appropriately placed away from patient care.

After her patient reported 10/10 pain via a text message, Melissa noticed the lack of any other PRN pain medication.  “The day keeps getting better.  If there is something I love more than charting, it’s paging the resident, waiting for them to return my phone call, and then entering in a verbal order.”

“Having a Pyxis discrepancy at the end of my shift will top it off,” said Jacobson.  One of Melissa’s co-workers over heard her saying, “I won’t mind staying an extra hour after my shift to resolve it.  Pharmacy is so understanding.”

Lord Lockwell
Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.