Coumadin Clinic Tired of Drawing Blood, Starts to Just Ballpark INR Results

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JACKSONVILLE, MSGomerBlog investigated a Coumadin clinic in Jacksonville and revealed a dark side to their daily operations.  The Jacksonville Coumadin Clinic was able to offer patients faster service for less cost in providing INR measurements for patients on common blood thinners such as Coumadin.  Other clinics just couldn’t compete with the amazing service and low cost.

blood drawIt wasn’t until GomerBlog was interviewing a patient for an unrelated story involving how pet monkeys can cure schizophrenia that an intriguing medical story arose.  In the interview, an anonymous patient stated that she had been going to the Jacksonville Coumadin Clinic and they had a new device that could read her INR “through her skin” instead of drawing blood.

Other reporters headed over to the clinic and it was indeed true what was happening.  Patients were being seen, scanned, and given an instantaneous number, which they were led to believe was their iNR.

Upon confronting the nurses working at the clinic, one nurse broke down and confessed.  “Okay, okay, you caught us.  We were just getting so sick and tired of drawing blood day in and day out.  That is all we did.  We drew blood and placed it in a machine.  Repeat.”

The day-to-day mundaneness finally got to everybody working there until one day, a nurse decided just to ballpark INRs based upon any bruising on the patients.  “It just made things so simple.  The patients loved it since they didn’t need to be poked and they were out of our clinic quickly.  We loved it for the same reason.”

The clinic is being shut down as we speak, but begs reminding people that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn’t true… unless you chose to go into the specialty of dermatology, then it is still true.

  • Doktor Schnabel

    Plague doctor from 1622 who practices blood letting and medical satire. My beak has mint leaves and straw to protect myself from the it looks good.

  • Show Comments

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    Erin Hannah Stone

    I get days where I’m tired of drawing blood too but I would never ball park any lab results!

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    Just eat some greens and decrease your coumadin dose by 1/2. Problem solved :)

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    Todd Gregory

    It’s all fun and games until someone is bleeding from the anus.

  • Avatar
    Deb Turk

    Note that this is a medical SATIRE site….

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    Tara McConnaughy

    What… Really. Smh

  • Avatar
    Harold Arthur Fowler

    Ampek jempol kriting tetep stia coment di status Gomerblog

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