Dr. Nim Sure That ‘All Patients Are Just Faking It’

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Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that most patient’s pain is “just in their head.”

He’s back!

Known for years by co-workers as “Numb-Nim,” by his inability to understand anything from the patient’s point of view, Dr. Nim prides himself in his “nobody’s going to fool me” attitude in the ER.  He currently holds a 27-year record of lowest satisfaction scores in the country.  Despite this, Dr. Nim maintains he would rather withhold pain meds from someone who needs them than give a “druggy” some drugs.

“Oh sweet mercy, please don’t make me work another shift with him,” said one of his ER physician partners.  “Seriously, he doesn’t even go into the rooms any more.  We had a patient with fibromyalgia who was literally writhing in pain.  He did nothing.  I even showed him, in his own medical book out of his briefcase, how debilitating and painful the disease can be.  I just went into the room and saw the patient after Dr. Nim had dismissed without even going in the room.  He needs to just retire or die.”  We tried to speak with other co-workers about his behavior, but others were not as positive.

“That patient was a faker,” Dr. Nim said of the patient he did not see.  Despite “seeing” over 1,700 cases of fibromyalgia over his career, he is yet to give any pain medication to a single one.

“I can tell, they have a certain look to them,” he said, even though he never actually saw the patient in the first place.

Shortly after that, a patient with an open tibia fracture was wheeled into another room.  The patient thrashed in pain due to the visible bone protruding through his skin.  “Typical.  Those fakers will do anything for narcotics.  NOT GOING TO WORK!” he screamed to the man who proceeded to lose consciousness due to his pain.

We tried to contact Dr. Nim after his shift for further comment, but were unable to understand him due to the muffled sound he produced from how far his head was up his own ass.

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    Guidelines for fibromyalgia recommend AGAINST prescription pain meds

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    Lee Harper

    I had Internist who was quite happy to treat my fake ailments, until about a year in, he realized they were real and blew his lid. How dare me. Twit!

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    Claudia Marozzi

    To my favorite PA, Tyler Cook

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