The ACOG Changes Pregnancy to 42 Weeks, Makes Dividing into Trimesters Easier

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HILLBRANCH, SC – The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) recently released groundbreaking news: pregnancy will now be extended to 42 weeks instead of the typical 40 weeks.

This was put into place because mothers throughout the nation were confused about what trimester they were in.  “My obstetrician said to be careful during the first trimester because ‘that is when all the baby’s organs are made.’  I didn’t know what week that corresponded to!”

It is universally accepted that 40 divided by 3 needs a calculator: 13.333333 weeks.  The real hassle is when practitioners try to calculate a third of a week.  Seven days is not easily divisible by 3: 2.3333 days, and then 24 hours divided by 3 can induce headaches.  (Most readers have taken an aspirin by now.)

“Telling patients that they are entering their second trimester at 13 weeks 2 days and 8 hours becomes a little annoying,” Dr. Friech, a local OB/GYN, stated.  “That could sometimes be at 3 a.m. depending on what time they conceived.  This is where the new 42 weeks just makes sense.”

Not everyone is excited that the math has been made easier.  “I don’t want to be pregnant for two more weeks!” Jamie Summers told reporters.  “They should have decreased it to 30 weeks!  More people would get pregnant if they knew it only lasted 30 weeks.  Plus the math is easy for 30.”

This new change is only currently affecting the soon-to-be mothers in the United States.  Many women are thinking about hopping the border to Mexico to deliver their babies.  “I’m on the fence, if I get to 40 weeks and can’t take it anymore, I’ll head to Mexico to deliver.  It will be a difficult decision, but there is only so much pregnancy I can take,” Samantha Bruins of El Paso, TX told reporters.

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