orthopedic surgeon

Bones: An Orthopedic Surgeon’s Perspective

  • 43K
    Shares

By Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Thomas Partinger

Bones.  I like bones.  I like big bones.  I like small bones.  I like bones.  I like long bones.  I like short bones.  I like old bones.  I like young bones.  I like misshapen bones.  I really like broken bones.  I like bones sticking out of skin.  I like bones about to stick out of the skin.  I like all sorts of bones.  I like them.  I like bones.

orthopedic surgeon
“Guys!  I found some bones in here!”

Sometimes bones are broken.  I like to fix bones.  Sometimes I break bones to fix bones.  Sometimes I put screws in bones.  Sometimes I put plates on bones.  Sometimes I put wire around bones.  Bones.  I like to take broken bones and make them straight.  Unless it is not a straight bone.  Then I do not like to make it a straight bone.

The lungs confuse me.  The heart confuses me.  Kidneys confuse me.  The pancreas confuses me.  Bones do not confuse me.  Unless it is the skull.  That confuses me.  Teeth confuse me.  They are bones.  I do not like them as much.  Ancef is good.  I like when anesthesia gives it.  Sometimes gentamicin is good too.  Not as good as bones.  I like bones.

If you consult me about a deep cut, I will ask if there are broken bones.  If you consult me about a crush injury, I will ask if there are broken bones.  If you consult me about an infection, I will ask if there are broken bones.  If you did not get X-rays, I will get them to look at the bones.

I like muscles too.  Sometimes I cut muscles to get to bones.  I do not like nerves.  They are not bones.  They get in the way of bones.

After I finished with my medical school, I was deeply intrigued by the pathophysiology of complex disease processes and the underlying pharmacokinetic changes of our current treatment strategies, but now, I like bones.

image_pdfimage_print
  • Gomerblog Team

    This author is actually a group of authors that contribute. Many famous Gomerblog authors have published here later to have their works printed under their real name. Maybe one day you too could be part of the Gomerblog team

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Steve Roesler

    Yes. The patient may have a systole, but I don’t even know where I’d start looking to find that, nor what to do with it if I did find it. All I know is there is a fracture and I love fixing dem bones. Classic. steve.

  • Avatar
    Roy Benaroch MD

    Me doctor. Fix bones.

  • Avatar
    Melissa Kirschner

    Haha this is too funny!

  • Avatar
    Sarah Kohrmann

    Melissa Kirschner is this about right?!!

  • Avatar
    Megan Hedlund

    They should have thrown an occasional f-word and “bro” in there for life-like effect.

  • Avatar
    Lauren Mary

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Kevin Nicholas Ong

    I like bones.

  • Avatar
    Habeeb Khan

    I don’t see what’s wrong with it :P

  • Avatar
    Jennifer Hill-Birk

    So, I giggled out loud after I read this.

  • Avatar
    Jackie Bradshaw

    Amy Onstott

  • Avatar
    Steve Gerke

    UTTERLY. BRILLIANT.

  • Avatar
    Ed Dickenson

    Massive like. I like bones.

  • Avatar
    Ananda Arasaratnam

    Simon Fleming, Phil Brown, Ish Singh

  • Avatar
    Joshua Bell

    The last paragraph is spot on

  • Avatar
    Karyn Tapley

    I <3 orthopods…but, gawd, I hate watching them fix bones. Gah.

  • Avatar
    Azra K

    Habeeb Khan

  • Avatar
    Sarah Kohrmann

    <3 <3 <3

  • Avatar
    Kate Dietz

    Gina Kelly

  • Avatar
    Lianna Gallup

    Been a running joke for years where I work. Lmao.

  • Avatar
    Susan Hobbs

    LOL!

  • Avatar
    Kelly McGee

    Joshua Bell omg

  • Avatar
    Emma Costello

    Jane Wilkinson can you please show this to Matt!

  • Avatar
    Oswald Roundandblue

    Patient is in asystole….There is a fracture I need to fix it….Classic!!!!!

  • Avatar
    Heidi Killefer

    Yohanna Craig Vernon

  • Avatar
    Cathy Sinclair

    There is a fracture. I need to fix it.

Comments are closed.

You May Also Like

patient in hospital NPO after discharge

Unchartered Territory: Doctor Makes Patient NPO After Discharge

778SharesDURHAM, NC – Stating that the outside world contains enough variables to make pulmonary ...

dialysis machine ATM machine

Med Student Mistakes Dialysis Machine for ATM Machine

529SharesNASHVILLE, TN – As much as they wanted to help out third-year medical student ...

Student Taking the MCAT Fails After Saving Proctor

159SharesPHILADELPHIA, PA – An unbelievable event occurred yesterday afternoon in the Prometric MCAT computer ...

Feline Fibromyalgia Clinic Closes Amid Fraud Accusations

121SharesASHEVILLE, NC – A local veterinary specialty clinic closed its doors on Monday as ...