surgeon yelling

Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”

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BOISE, ID – In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming violently at herself in the mirror.

surgeon yelling
“Retract better!!!! Get that camera into position!!”

“I was walking by the bathroom when I heard extremely loud shouting,” explains Nurse Jacquelyn Lawson.  “Immediately thinking someone was in trouble, I barged in to help diffuse what had to be an argument on the verge of a fist fight.”

Nurse Lawson would be surprised to find herself alone in the bathroom with Dr. Ivanovich, and unable to find anyone else around.  She quickly realized Dr. Ivanovich had been yelling by herself.

“I asked what she was doing in there?” recalls Nurse Lawson.  “She muttered something about ‘practicing’ and stormed back to her office.  It was really bizarre.”

Dr. Ivanovich, who holds the hospital record for making seven residents wet their scrubs simultaneously, claims she was rehearsing her tantrum for her next case, and admits she has been practicing her tirades for years.

“You have to practice.  I mean, you have to,” said Dr. Ivanovich.  “It’s how you get good.  You play like you practice and I practice like a champion.  No person on this earth could go off on as many people as I do without practice.  Think about all the people I have to scream at in a regular day: scrub nurses, medicine residents, my own residents, absolutely everyone in the ER.  It’s exhausting, taxing even, like a marathon.  But, boy, can I flip my [expletive] like a champ.  Sometimes I even impress myself!”

Indeed, even Dr. Ivanovich’s co-workers have noticed.

“She’s a hell of a tantrum-thrower,” said Dr. Wiscott, another general surgeon and close friend of Dr. Ivanovich.  “She’s somehow managed to fuse the frustration of a two-year old not getting their way with the anger of a raging teenager.  It’s really fantastic.  That’s pure natural talent right there.”

Word has since spread to the staff not to interrupt Dr. Ivanovich’s practice time.  But for the next person to walk in on her screaming, Dr. Ivanovich has this to say: “God help her.”

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    Kelly Goshon

    reminds me of a neurosurgeon I used to work c. She’d just scream in the hall. She must’ve had to go to anger mngmt b/c it stopped

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    Bill Moore

    Surgeons are a little like puppies except puppies quit whining when they grow up. ;-)

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    Bill Moore

    Just when you think Gomerblog can’t get any funnier! Well done!

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    Probably stay off the internet if you’re easily offended just to be safe

  • Avatar
    Assaf Graif

    She’s somehow managed to fuse the frustration of a two-year old not getting their way with the anger of a raging teenager. It’s really fantastic. That’s pure natural talent right there.

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    Kat Moore

    Because it’s funny. It’s called satire…which by definition is purposefully exaggerated. Don’t read gomerblog if you’re easily offended. It’s like south park….everyone gets made fun of eventually! Haha

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    Tanya Siltanen

    Wtf! Dumb

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    Luke Selby, MD

    Funny is funny, and practice makes perfect

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    Thomas Lucero

    Laura Hudson

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    Chananya Goldman

    hahahahah Ariel Ourian Ira Savetsky

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    Nicole Flowers Wells

    I don’t see why this is necessary…

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    Jeanne Sincavage

    Surgeons are a unique breed of human being!

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    Good, but “I like bones” is better. “I like bones” is the bomb. I like bones.

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