er nurse

ER Nurses Holding Unplaced Inpatients Cheer Whenever ‘Code Blue’ Called Overhead

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ZIP CITY, AL – After a record breaking week of admissions via the ER and an increase in scheduled outpatient procedures, St. Bertram Hospital in Zip City, Alabama has been bursting at the seams, with many ICU, telemetry, and med-surg admissions languishing in the emergency department for over 24 hours.

er nurse
“Don’t even think about calling your patient unstable.  He’s wide awake!”

The ER nurses trying to juggle the needs of the admission holdovers with the ambulance and walk-in patients, have reached the limit of their endurance, as evidenced by the high-fives and fist pumps that occur every time the operator pages a Code Blue overhead.

“YESSSS!!  I might actually get a bed for my abdominal pain patient Mr. Harris!” chortled RN Molly Scott as she drew up and prepared his q2hour Dilaudid and Zofran dose and cleared the empty Big Mac box he had hidden in his bed simultaneously.

“Not so fast,” replied Lawrence Paul, another RN who was currently monitoring two unplaced telemetry patients while also working the ortho beds.  “I have a patient on a diltiazem drip that will need to go up first.”

An argument broke out between the two nurses during the debate over which patient was “sicker” after Nurse Scott insinuated that Nurse Paul was deliberately fudging vital signs and hadn’t actually had to titrate the diltiazem drip since 7:45 p.m. the night before.

“Both of you can suck it,” stated Frankie Jones, another RN who was spotted skipping and doing a happy dance down the hall when he heard the Code Blue, thinking that his patient in alcohol withdrawal was the clear front-runner for the hopefully-soon-to-be-vacated bed upstairs.

Unfortunately for all parties involved, a patient from the ICU ended up transferring into the bed to make room for an elective tummy tuck “VIP” patient.

Nurse Paul is still hopeful to transfer his patient upstairs tonight by just transporting his patient in the patient pneumatic tube system and pressing the “No Return” button.  Other options include the newly-installed eject buttons, but several ceiling malfunctions may limit this option.

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  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Stacey Walker

    Alexis Simpson ;-)

  • Avatar
    Tina Edwards

    Um…sometimes you guys get waaaayyyyy too close to truth to be funny.

  • Avatar
    Marga Jovel

    Very true…..

  • Avatar
    Jules Preston

    Off topic, love your blog name!! It is one of the two books I read at least once every year.

  • Avatar
    Jules Preston

    Off topic, love your blog name!! It is one of the two books I read at least once every year.

  • Avatar
    Jamie Akers

    I have heard a nurse say, ” Damn, I need a surg bed” when the Code Blue was called on a medical ward.

  • Avatar
    Jamie Akers

    I have heard a nurse say, ” Damn, I need a surg bed” when the Code Blue was called on a medical ward.

  • Avatar
    Misty Scott Moore

    Yay! I’m published!! Off to collect more dark fodder at 7p!

  • Avatar
    Brittany Pimentel

    Floor holds suck!!!!

  • Avatar
    Chris Goshorn

    The sad part is how true this is.

  • Avatar
    Sarah Kohrmann

    Discharge trebuchet FTW!

  • Avatar
    Gina Molina

    Too funny.

  • Avatar
    Ann Marie Usher

    Unless I was the dead guy…

  • Avatar
    Monica Flanery

    Lol!!! So twisted!

  • Avatar
    Amanda Moore DeJohn

    Paul DeJohn

  • Avatar
    Mary W. Studious

    Love it. Reposting.

  • Avatar
    Elena Clifford

    There is a sickness amongst us nurses. And I love it.

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth K. Barnes

    Love it..

  • Avatar
    Mickey Adams

    Guilty. Seeing a patient headed to the morgue gives hope.

  • Avatar
    Mickey Adams

    David Omar Bacallao

  • Avatar
    Joanie Sapienza

    Baaaahahahahah!

  • Avatar
    Angela Klenk

    Whoever writes these is a genius!

  • Avatar
    Optimistic Cynic

    Guilty.

  • Avatar
    Shannon Tinney

    Holy shit this is funny

  • Avatar
    George Murray

    I have always supported the idea of a pneumatic tube system for patient transport, and a discharge trebuchet.

  • Avatar
    Miranda Parrott

    Lol, I peed a little.

  • Avatar
    Allison Marr Casey

    This is funny stuff.

  • Avatar
    Jennifer Meyer Wyatt

    Nurse Paul is still hopeful to transfer his patient upstairs tonight by just transporting his patient in the patient pneumatic tube system and pressing the “no return” button. LOL

  • Avatar
    Frances Corsino-Nelson

    Guilty

  • Avatar
    Tina MacKinnon

    ummm, who told you?

  • Avatar
    Victoria Morgan

    you laugh but…

  • Avatar
    Robert Reynolds

    Tummy tuck VIP clear front runner for first bed!!!

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