geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

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LONG BEACH, CA – After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin “Snoop Dogg” Broadus announced that he is now ready to practice as an officially trained geriatrician.  He completed medical school at UCLA-Harborview, then went on to finish a three-year residency in internal medicine and a two-year fellowship in geriatrics at UCLA.  He spoke at a press conference at Death Row records in Long Beach.  The studio will double as his clinic, Cheatin’ Death Senior Care, which will cater to the 80-and-up population.

geriatric fellowship
Snoop Dogg emerging at his geriatrics fellowship graduation

“My fan base is aging, for shizzle.  These geezers know my music better than any other demographic, if you get what I’m saying.  And if you don’t think they still know how to party, you ain’t been to the nursing homes or geriatric hospitals in a whizz-ile.  These old ladies and ballers keep it turnt up with bingo and bridge.  We call this one old baller ‘Busdriver’ cause he will take you to school at Dominoes.”

“They can’t gamble for real dollars, but Busdriver be stackin’ Nilla Wafers like C-notes when the dominoes is out.  It don’t even start getting crunk on the geriatric ward ‘til after midnight.  I make it rain Geodon in that hizzzouse on the regular.”

“The biggest thing I learned in fellowship was telling the difference between a delirizzle and dementizzle.  Geezers be acting the same sometimes.  Just as soon as you figure an old lady only has worsening Alzheimizzles, BOOM!  She fools you with a UT-izzle or a pneumonizzle.  And with all the diuretics, para-neoplastic syndromes, and bad diets, these geezers’ sodiums be droppin’ like panties at an afterparty.  You gotta be on your toes, for real.”

Cheatin’ Death Senior Care has announced plans for hip-hop modifications of commonly used hardware in the geriatric population, like Hoverounds outfitted with hydraulics and walkers with curb-feelers.  The clinic’s motto is “We got our minds on your me-maw and your me-maw on our minds.”

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  • Avatar
    Lucky Linda Garner

    Umesh Oza I’m sure Ankit can relate here ;-)

  • Avatar
    Casca

    It’s his sub-speciality

  • Avatar
    Casca

    I’ve helped teenagers pimp their wheelchairs with LED lites….

  • Avatar
    Jenny Codding

    Cassie Cobb. This is too great.

  • Avatar
    Carlie Sharp
  • Avatar
    Laura Christy Forshee

    Ha!

  • Avatar
    Dave Lynn

    Hahah Phil Omotosho!

  • Avatar
    Michele Marie

    I would totalizzle work thizzle!

  • Avatar
    Kishalay Sinha

    lmao

  • Avatar
    Takiva Valencia Pierce

    Kishalay Sinha

  • Avatar
    Brande Harris

    So relieved to see it was gomerblog

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth Stonesifer

    Gin and prune juice?

  • Avatar
    Sayontonee Ghosh

    Christina Norris, Michelle Lee!

  • Avatar
    Betsy Toups Harrel

    Love! Love! Love!!!

  • Avatar
    Kelli Hendley

    Forshizzle Holly Z ;-))

  • Avatar
    Chris Yarnall

    Snoop is the man!!!!

  • Avatar
    Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    OMG, I want a hoveround with hydraulics!

  • Avatar
    Becky Alexander

    no joke, I have tried to outfit walkers with curb feelers for the visually impaired. I’m a physical therapist with the geriatric population.

  • Avatar
    Clare Calogero

    Tony – gangster Geriatrician!

  • Avatar
    Diane Johnson-Barefoot

    Love it!

  • Avatar
    Nathan Anderson

    Brande Harris

  • Avatar
    Mark P Stacy

    I can’t think of anyone with a more in-depth knowledge of therapeutic cannabis.

  • Avatar
    David Treese

    Tick tock till your heart stops

  • Avatar
    Julie King

    Becca – “yo mamma”

  • Avatar
    Michael Hailey

    Fo’ shizzle?

  • Avatar
    Victoria Ludington Baker

    This made me LOL.

  • Avatar
    Marcia Peters Martin

    I love this!

  • Avatar
    Holly Zittrouer

    Kelli Hendley, this sounds like a job for me!

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