Ativan

The Pen Is Mightier Than the Sword, But This Ativan Tho

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This Charlie Hebdo incident is horrendous.  Free speech is a vital right, but I know something else even more vital to ensure world peace.  It’s called Ativan.

Ativan
“Wouldn’t this place be so much better if everybody had Ativaaaaaannn…”

We’re not asking the right questions about free speech.  We need to stop asking questions altogether, because the answer is obvious and we don’t need that much speech.  Honestly, why talk at all when there’s so much Ativan in the world?  Freedom of the press needs more Ativan.  Words hurt people.  I thought we needed words, too.  Then Ativan happened and I realized how to solve this whole problem of words.  When’s the last time Ativan hurt anyone?? don’t answer that`..

If we’d just been focussssing on ;distributing more Ativan in the frst place, we’d neer be where we are now.  This is a horibl situation, but you know what’s worse?  NO Ativan.  Words hav a lot of power, but then theres Ativan.  Let’s all just hold hands and Ativan togethr.. if we all Ativaned as a people, religion and beliefs and everythig would bcome 1 finallly.  No one would offend anyone else, noone would want to hurt any’’one else,, n wee could all jst chill the uck out.  Ami tire?  If you have a btter solution to solving the hurt of the world, I’m all ears, but I probably won’t remember ur idea so here have some Ativan bc Ativan.

I thin Depeche Mode`~ had a song about this… I don’t remember what the words are but I think… omg is tht DIlaudid?! Ok, so two ways to solve this word problem I guess.  Maybe they’ll publish this, maybe theyyy wont,, but it doesn’t mater becaue I’m chillln.  Lorazapeaceee!!!!!

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  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    En Serio?

    THX for the promo! Someone noted to me that the picture looks like a dead writer tho, not just an Ativan’d one :(

  • Avatar
    Casca

    Brought to you by a culture that doesn’t consume bacon or beer….Life’s natural Ativan

  • Avatar
    husaria

    And a little benadryl ………just to take the edge off

  • Avatar
    John Roy

    I was thinking that the FDA’s policies mean the US often gets drugs long after the rest of the world. Eons ago, my American pharmacology textbook didn’t contain salbutamol, a drug we’d been using for years. Maybe things have changed.

  • Avatar
    Lee Lake

    Overly dramatic much?

  • Avatar
    Lee Lake

    ^Well, THAT didn’t come across as “holier-than-thou” at all…

  • Avatar
    Stacy Redigan

    Throw in Albuterol and it’s pure gold!

  • Avatar
    John Roy

    Probably still using halothane and tubocurarine

  • Avatar
    Deralie Flower

    Agree, John Roy. The point is this post is really just not that good, even for those of us who actually (used to) like this site. This post is so tenuously related to the atrocity that it’s not worth making the link. With regards to prescribing behaviour – I’m guessing they’re American (say no more).

  • Avatar
    Isaac Clarke

    Mine does. Also our OB kits are from about 1980, and oropharyngeal airways are approximately the same vintage. Gotta love rural EMS.

  • Avatar
    Deralie Flower

    Ah Gomerblog, I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you could handle a little negative feedback. Pity I was wrong. Narcissistic much?

  • Avatar
    Deralie Flower

    Jeff Smith – not ‘Mr’, just sayin’; Drs can even be female these days – who would have thought?

  • Avatar
    John Roy

    By all means produce something in reaction to an atrocity, especially one where satirists are murdered; but make it GOOD. Anyway, what primitive health system still uses Lorazepam? What millennium are you in?

  • Avatar
    Jeff Smith

    Gomerblog, break out the Ketamine for John Roy, he’s out of control based on the Stryker Rep’s out of control scale..

  • Avatar
    Jeff Smith

    Ben, let’s go for the gusto on this one.. Ketamine! You can never be to careful I always say…

  • Avatar
    Conni Errickson Miller

    You haven’t been where I work lately. I think the whole world needs more chemical bonding. Ativan is our friend.

  • Avatar
    Conni Errickson Miller

    You haven’t been where I work lately. I think the whole world needs more chemical bonding. Ativan is our friend.

  • Avatar
    Jesse Thomas McCann

    Ativan, Haldol and Benadryl: 2-5-25

  • Avatar
    Jesse Thomas McCann

    Ativan, Haldol and Benadryl: 2-5-25

  • Avatar
    John Roy

    You have done better. Much better. Fail.

  • Avatar
    Lindsy Gollihar

    The Ativan cloud Luke Stott

  • Avatar
    Gomerblog

    Chillax my friend

  • Avatar
    Gomerblog

    Anyone have any ativan..we need it STAT

  • Avatar
    Kelley Hughes Reep

    In crop dusters

  • Avatar
    Roberto Alonzo

    I have been saying this for years! I’m going to invent a Xanax/Ativan mister for ER waiting rooms and become rich!!!

  • Avatar
    Jeff Smith

    Relax Mr Flower..

  • Avatar
    Roy Villareal

    I’ll take penis mightier for 500, Alex!

  • Avatar
    Terry Bartlett

    Aerosolized. Just keep it on the down low.

  • Avatar
    Marcy James

    There’s one in every crowd.

  • Avatar
    Sheri Martin Sherwin Crawford

    Ati-Breeze in auto dispensers … makes the room smell nice as you drift off to sleep.

  • Avatar
    Elena Clifford

    Oh and it’s satire. Relax

  • Avatar
    Elena Clifford

    How about Thorazine blow darts?

  • Avatar
    Irene Rebello

    oh please. the reason these things happen is because people don’t talk about the real things that matter. Like how the people at Charlie Hebdo while righteously swinging the pen of free speech, are dead. Tragic, but it’s like not looking before you cross the road in the crosswalk. The biggest bully wins. Not happy about it, just a fact

  • Avatar
    Deralie Flower

    Sorry, riding on the coat tails of tragedy = not cool

  • Avatar
    Natalie Woodworth Philbrick

    Klonopin.

  • Avatar
    John Roy

    Not one of your better efforts, I’m afraid. You should have waited for inspiration, rather than racing to get something – anything – out. Feeble.

  • Avatar
    Michaela Lieb

    KumbiyAtivan!

  • Avatar
    Stephanie Hare

    Haldol aerosol!

  • Avatar
    Sarah Joy Hipple-Spence

    I’m dying

  • Avatar
    Sheila Weber

    I’ve been advocating for Vitamin A misters for years but no one ever listens!!

  • Avatar
    Amanda Boursin

    Yes please…

  • Avatar
    Jackie Edleblute

    Time to take a ride on the van, the ati-Van

  • Avatar
    Allie Nun Ofurbeewax

    Ativan in the drinking water instead of Fluoride!

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