A new website called TheMatch.com uses a time-tested algorithm to pair you up with the residency of your dreams. You can sign up today for their free trial (just kidding, it’s $60) for this fantastic product! You may have tried other websites like e-DoNoHarmony and MDate, but TheMatch.com promises to deliver you into the big, strong arms of the residency of your dreams. Or maybe you like a more nerdy residency with more personality than pure brawn. Whatever floats your boat.
Best of all, you do none of the work. You don’t have to worry about the stress of the residency dating world. In fact, all you have to do is put your life in TheMatch.com’s capable hands by merely ranking your top choices and then praying your brains out to a god you may never have tried to contact before.
There’s a short, completely bearable waiting period before they deliver you your results. After that, the site may or may not have paired you with the residency of your dreams. (Unfortunately TheMatch.com does not offer a guarantee.)
There is a chance they don’t pair you with anyone at all, but that’s okay. The good news is you won’t have to wait too long! It’s only 5 days until they put all your troubles to rest. You won’t have to do much. Just send out a few applications, network, panic (but only a little), think about research, change your specialty last minute, and consider another career altogether.
They also generously offer support for times like these. Please find the “Support” tab on their site for stress-relieving suggestions such as yelling at loved ones, eating your way through all of the potato chips in your local grocery store, and going on unhealthily long runs (to work off the calories). Don’t worry, the binging won’t hurt your chances with the residencies. They’re famously not shallow about that kind of thing.
So I’d highly recommend you choose TheMatch.com for your residency dating needs. Well, I know you will. Enjoy the ride!
TheMatch.com: 10/10 stethoscopes
