Nigeria Offers Aid to Measles-Plagued United States

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NIGERIA – Local Nigerian government officials have released an official statement letting the world know they were grateful for the help the US has provided and are willing to help America with her medical problems.  “We just contained one of the world’s most deadliest diseases [Ebola], now the United States is fighting an outbreak of their own and we want to offer whatever help we can.”

Nigeria is no stranger to measles outbreaks.  The country’s recent vaccination initiative has prevented an outbreak like the one in 2012 that had infected 36,428 people, killing 198 and wounding thousands.

“America has helped us before during our outbreaks and we would like to repay the favor,” Nigerian health administer Dr. Okoronkwo stated.  “We have the experience and know-how to prevent these outbreaks: vaccinations.”

Call to action.

“We have reached out to America to offer help with vaccines, but we are hearing rumors that they are refusing the vaccine?” Dr. Okoronkwo continued baffled.  “We are willing to come and set up vaccination clinics in Orange County, ground zero, and help eradicate this disease, again.”

Measles, once close to eradication in the US, is making a comeback with over 600 cases reported last year and on pace to double that number this year.

“We are contacting the WHO and seeing what they can also do to help America.  We were under the impression vaccines came from the US and were easily accessible,” Okoronkwo said.  “That must be false as these outbreaks are coming on stronger and stronger.  I plan to leave next week with a group of volunteers, set up a traveling immunization tent, and travel up and down California.  We will help you America.”

The country is trying to stop the disease over in the US so it is not brought back home to Nigeria.  “The government has talked about flight restrictions but we will see if we can contain this first.”

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  • Lord Lockwell

    Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.

  • Show Comments

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    aline levi

    hysterically funny spoof, but we must take heed

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    Don Karg

    Scott, what is to blame for the Measles outbreak, especially in California? People exercising choice, illegal aliens that weren’t vaccinated, or something else?

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    Claudia Wood

    Lol

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    Andrew Topcliffe

    :)

  • Avatar
    Christine Suiter

    Audra…

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    ZDoggMD

    What do you mean, “you people”?

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