bartender

The Epic EHR Bartender

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bartender
If Epic was a bartender

Patron: I’d like a beer.

Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace!

Patron: I’d like a beer.

Epic: Pick from this list.

Patron: Hmm… I’ll have a Mirror Pond.

Epic: What size?

Patron: It comes in one size: a twelve oz. bottle.

Epic: Choose either 1 bottle or 12 oz.

Patron: 12 oz.

Epic: OK.  Do you want order future beers individually like this, or receive future bottles delivered automatically?

Patron: Yeah… Automatically.

Epic: How many and at what intervals?

Patron: 1 bottle every 15 minutes.

Epic: You must select total number of bottles furnished and/or an end date and time.

Patron: #6, tomorrow 2 AM.

Epic: I will need parameters for withholding future bottles.

Patron: WTF!  Never mind, just give me my beer.

Epic: Select how you want it.

Patron: Huh!?

Epic: Oral, G tube, J tube, rectal, or sublingual.

Patron: Just gimme the beer!  Oral!

Epic:  OK… Wait!  There is a best practice advisory warning!

Patron: What?

Epic: You have had a prior beer!

Patron: Just gimme the beer!

Epic: OK… Wait, you have had an adverse reaction!

Patron: And I am having one now!!!

Epic: In 2007 you had nausea and vomiting with tequila.  Do you wish to override, or consult the pharmacist?

Patron: Just gimme the beer!

Epic: Please enter password.

Patron: I am out of here.

Epic: Thank you for choosing HyperSpace.

Patron: F UUUUU!!!

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  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Melissa Staszak

    Tami Christian Rush Suji Stolte

  • Avatar
    Melissa Staszak

    Tami Christian Rush Suji Stolte

  • Avatar
    Brenda Matthews

    Oh the programs not written by clinical people! I long for pen and paper. Cerner is no joke ……..try using it in home health. It wasn’t developed for home health and then our agency added their requirements. Can we say everyone had 12-14 hours days? And we lost ALOT of good employees over it.

  • Avatar
    Brenda Matthews

    Oh the programs not written by clinical people! I long for pen and paper. Cerner is no joke ……..try using it in home health. It wasn’t developed for home health and then our agency added their requirements. Can we say everyone had 12-14 hours days? And we lost ALOT of good employees over it.

  • Avatar
    Joleen Begley

    Thank god I don’t have to order too many things. Order sets are the way to go.

  • Avatar
    Joleen Begley

    Thank god I don’t have to order too many things. Order sets are the way to go.

  • Avatar
    Chris Campbell Walker

    Joleen Begley Carole Kramer

  • Avatar
    Chris Campbell Walker

    Joleen Begley Carole Kramer

  • Avatar
    Bill Clark

    Genius.

    And we just type in SH and it knows what I want

  • Avatar
    Lauren McChesney

    Joan Unger Schultes

  • Avatar
    Christopher Michael Bourque

    So incredibly true!!

  • Avatar
    Mohammad Ahsan

    You crazy ;)

  • Avatar
    Jay Scott Smitherman

    Good thing I already have Shiner Bock built out in my favorites. One click ordering. I can even order from home now with remote (beer) access.

  • Avatar
    Stephanie Hatcher

    Too funny! Meditec is the worst. It has added at least an extra 2 hours of work to my day.

  • Avatar
    Juliana Morawski

    Meditech SUCKS

  • Avatar
    Aimee Alexander

    Myla

  • Avatar
    William Watts

    I’d take Epic or Cerner we are on Meditech….

  • Avatar
    Karen Palmer

    What about Cerner?

  • Avatar
    Carol Rodgers-Wright

    Oh so true!

  • Avatar
    Mike Hodos

    I am convinced Epic will be better when it’s out of beta. Soon, I’m sure.

  • Avatar
    Lynda Mann

    Lol!

  • Avatar
    Douglas Dew

    All the EMR bars serve the same bad kool aid

  • Avatar
    Kelly Johnson

    Oh Epic! We heart you, because as many hoops as you give us, you’re probably still the best of the EHR system choices. *sigh*

  • Avatar
    Mark Stallbaumer

    It is still better then Cerner.

  • Avatar
    Mark Stallbaumer

    It is still better then Cerner.

  • Avatar
    Mark Stallbaumer

    It is still better then Cerner.

  • Avatar
    Heike Johnson

    That about sums it up…

  • Avatar
    Heike Johnson

    That about sums it up…

  • Avatar
    Heike Johnson

    That about sums it up…

  • Avatar
    Angela Rini Wilson

    Beverly Downen, don’t know if you have to use this system.

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