pregnancy test

Pregnant Patient Further Shocked When Told NuvaRing “Not Meant to Be Worn on Finger”

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MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to a recent emergency room visit in which she was informed she was pregnant.

pregnancy testBut, according to Bamberger, that wasn’t the biggest bombshell she received that day.

Lisa said she originally went to the emergency room because of vomiting and stomach pain one morning, when she was given her lab results.

“When the doctor told me I was pregnant, I said there’s just no way, I have that NuvaRing, I told her.  Then I showed her my finger and she kind of stared at me for a second before she and the nurse started laughing really hard,” explained the 20-year-old expecting mother and recent college dropout.

Bamberger, whose public high-school sex education consisted solely of an abstinence-only curriculum, as mandated by the state, said she had no idea that the NuvaRing was not meant to be worn on her finger.

“I got the Nuva-thing because my regular doctor said it would be free and I wouldn’t need to take pills anymore so I picked it up and it said ring on the box so I put it on my finger like a ring,” said Lisa in regards to the combined estrogen-progestin contraceptive vaginal ring used by nearly 2 million women worldwide.

At press time, Bamberger was seen leaving the hospital premises in a loud pickup truck with multiple spare tires, releasing thick black smoke from the exhaust pipe as she drove away.

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  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Alex Peshansky

    You can’t fix stupid.

  • Avatar
    Mark Bednarz

    I had one patient that only took her oral contraceptives after she had sex. She couldn’t understand why she was pregnant.

  • Avatar
    Mark Bednarz

    Sadly, Georgia is mostly abstinence based.

  • Avatar
    Goran Rimac

    Sébastien Brodeur

  • Avatar
    Vicky Graziosi Reid

    lolol!

  • Avatar
    Candace Moulton

    Or just learn how the reproductive system and procreation work! Then you know how to stop the process!

  • Avatar
    Candace Moulton

    That’s a lot of sex

  • Avatar
    Angélique Smith

    We are talking about a generation with 24 hr. access to information on how to prevent pregnancy, unfortunately they lack a fully-formed prefrontal cortex.

    But their $400 phones wear protecting… Genitalia, not so much.

  • Avatar
    Meghan Marshall

    Hahahahahaha *sigh*

  • Avatar
    Colt Freeman

    This is all overshadowed by how terrible specifically the NUVA ring is in higher than normal PE cases. Terrible product

  • Avatar
    MJ Cole

    LOL Emily Cassandra Amanda Italiani…..thinking about my bracelet story!!!!

  • Avatar
    Amanda D Smith

    Meghan Marshall

  • Avatar
    Alyssa Camarena Schneidt

    Unfortunately satire can imitate real life!

  • Avatar
    Ingrid Thorngren Gordon

    and if you run out of contraceptive jelly for your diaphragm don’t substitute apple…..

  • Avatar
    Misha Ruslan Barson

    Had a pt who couldn’t believe she got pregnant because “I had the Guardasil shot six months ago”. Guardasil prevents HPV, not pregnancy.

  • Avatar
    Tammy Turgeon Fetto

    I know that. Thanks.

  • Avatar
    Matthew Schimmel

    Gomerblog is satire.

  • Avatar
    Cindy Mrowiec Dunham

    And this is why you must read ALL the instructions that come with contraception

  • Avatar
    Jennifer R Worthington

    HAHAHA!!

  • Avatar
    Jeanne Sincavage

    People…even educated people…can be dumb. Many years ago, the wife of a neurosurgeon I worked with came in for a liposuction. We asked her if she had anything by mouth since midnight…she, of course replied “No”. 30 minutes after she got to PACU, she vomited up the chicken sandwich she ate at 3AM…

  • Avatar
    Matthew Tackitt

    Unfortunately it seems “Analgesics” have nothing to do with butts. Odd,

  • Avatar
    Misha Ruslan Barson

    Syphilis is Chlamydia’s sister.

  • Avatar
    Steven W. Preuss

    I hope she places the child up for adoption.

  • Avatar
    Tricia Gill

    Lmao people this stupid should not be allowed to procreate. Omg!

  • Avatar
    Rissa Stackhouse

    L M A O

  • Avatar
    Tomas Ölï

    No lie one lady wanted to call her kid meconium

  • Avatar
    Sarah Rushton

    That woman must have had some huge fingers, or put it on her big toe. But this IS Gomerblog, and the story is satire. However, we were treated to stories in pharmacy school about people who took meds incorrectly, and one of them was about a woman on the Pill who got pregnant because she was sticking them up herself.

  • Avatar
    Stephanie Jurado

    Isnt any better then the people that name thier daughter “Shithead” … Shi-thead

  • Avatar
    Bruce Lager

    Yes. they walk among us.

  • Avatar
    Karen Schmidt

    I bet Saphilis’s mom was wearing a NuvaRing

  • Avatar
    Melanie Bernstein

    Marissa Cavallaro

  • Avatar
    Erin Hannah Stone

    And this is why I ask my doctor those silly questions!

  • Avatar
    Debbie Hilbert

    In my career, I cared for a child named Placenta, and a child named Shi – thead. Some folks need to have their reproductive license revoked.

  • Avatar
    Greg Novak

    Toids

  • Avatar
    Misty Jade Freeman
  • Avatar
    Habenero Reaper

    It’s funny because if you don’t specifically explain shit like this to patients this story ceases to be satirical.

  • Avatar
    Jim Keffer

    Sounds like the old urban legend about the lady suing the maker of spermicidal jelly. She put it on her toast every morning and STILL got pregnant.

  • Avatar
    Teiv Artn

    Christophe Tra

  • Avatar
    Tom Hicklin

    Let’s just sterilize these people. Obviously not contributing to the gene pool.

  • Avatar
    Joey Zhu
  • Avatar
    Michelle White

    Had a patient name her Saphilis. She saw syphalis on her chart and thought it was pretty.

  • Avatar
    Michelle White

    Unfortunately I believe there are people like this.

  • Avatar
    Tara Tahkofper

    Kristen bahaha

  • Avatar
    Audrey Morissette

    Fanny Alie-Cusson hahahhahahah

  • Avatar
    Bree Stillwagner

    Why is there still abstinence only sex education in the states when we send ppl to third world countries and teach actual sex ed? I mean really. People need to be informed.

  • Avatar
    Dennis Pabis

    Will she give birth to Wonder Twins?

  • Avatar
    Aimee Blaess Guyett

    I was told by one of the Pharmacist I worked with that he once had a lady try to renew her birth control a couple a weeks too early. She told him she was out even though she still should of had over a week or two left. She explained she took it every time she had sex.

  • Avatar
    Matthew Tackitt

    Had a patient one day whose daughter was named “Mirena”. I thought, “You don’t know what that is, do you?”

  • Avatar
    Robert Avram

    Lilliane Nguyen lmaoo

  • Avatar
    Tammy Turgeon Fetto

    Oh man…. I want to think this is a joke…..
    But my eyes have seen too much and my ears have heard too much-
    #Godplsprotectthisbaby
    #cantfixstupid

  • Avatar
    Tomas Ölï

    Real life: Had a patient place their oral contraception somewhere other than their mouth

  • Avatar
    Rawa Chater

    Mabel Trigoura lol

  • Avatar
    Eileen Left

    Ught ught oh… Somebody liked it and put a ring on it.

  • Avatar
    Michael Stephens

    Have you tried the Nuva onion rings? Kinda chewy and I cry about everything when I eat them

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