MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to a recent emergency room visit in which she was informed she was pregnant.
But, according to Bamberger, that wasn’t the biggest bombshell she received that day.
Lisa said she originally went to the emergency room because of vomiting and stomach pain one morning, when she was given her lab results.
“When the doctor told me I was pregnant, I said there’s just no way, I have that NuvaRing, I told her. Then I showed her my finger and she kind of stared at me for a second before she and the nurse started laughing really hard,” explained the 20-year-old expecting mother and recent college dropout.
Bamberger, whose public high-school sex education consisted solely of an abstinence-only curriculum, as mandated by the state, said she had no idea that the NuvaRing was not meant to be worn on her finger.
“I got the Nuva-thing because my regular doctor said it would be free and I wouldn’t need to take pills anymore so I picked it up and it said ring on the box so I put it on my finger like a ring,” said Lisa in regards to the combined estrogen-progestin contraceptive vaginal ring used by nearly 2 million women worldwide.
At press time, Bamberger was seen leaving the hospital premises in a loud pickup truck with multiple spare tires, releasing thick black smoke from the exhaust pipe as she drove away.