drone Santa hospitalized

Trump Proposes ‘Depo Drones’ as Means to Curb Welfare Expenditures

  • 222
    Shares

NEW YORK, NY –  Presidential-hopeful Donald Trump continues to make noise as the GOP front runner, as he yesterday announced a novel, if not downright frightening, plan to cut the nation’s spending on entitlements.

If elected, Trump plans to deploy a swarm of drones which will deliver entitlements to American women of childbearing age, but only if the impoverished females agree to allow the drone to inject them with Depo-Provera first.  The idea seems to build on a recently introduced drone-mediated narcotic delivery system for chronic pain patients.

A drone would visit each qualifying woman on a quarterly basis to deliver the parenteral contraceptive and entitlement check.  Each woman has the right to refuse the injection, but in so doing forfeits her entitlement for that quarter.

After an initial period of jaw-dropping speechlessness, critics called the plan inhumane, eugenic, and misogynistic.  Trump was reached by GomerBlog for comment.  When asked why male welfare recipients will not be harassed by drones and force fed saltpeter under his plan, he responded:

“Since I am now a Republican, I believe life begins at conception, not at erection.  I believe women can in some cases be productive members of society.  But let’s be pragmatic about this – if we can prevent all these parasitic broads from ovulating, the battle against exponentially increasing entitlement spending is won.”

image_pdfimage_print
  • Jake Ho

    After 10 years spent fighting the unwinnable war that is Emergency Medicine in America, an "ER doctor" left medicine altogether and joined a Buddhist temple in Tibet, changing his name to "Jake Ho." He found the peaceful solitude he achieved to be the antithesis of years spent dealing with unreasonable requests and reprimands from patients, families, hospital administrators, and consultants. The vows of celibacy and silence he took are largely mitigated by the blogging and internet porn made possible thanks to the temple's excellent Wi-Fi connection.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Family Cancels Vacation after EpiPen Use

435SharesINDIANAPOLIS, IN – Bad news from the Carson family house yesterday, Chris and Jenny ...

anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesia Blamed for Rand Paul Attack

1.4KShares BOWLING GREEN, KY – In yet another case of everything being blamed on ...

Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

3KSharesWASHINGTON, D.C. – Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday’s ruling allowing online medical ...