medical call room

Empty Lubricant Packet Found In Hospital Sleep Room Creates More Questions Than Answers

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BOCA RATON, FL – Staff hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was surprised to find a used lubricant packet in in the hospital call room.  The doctor has launched an extensive investigation into the matter and has come up empty-handed so far.

medical call room“I mean, it’s very unlikely that a previous doctor would have performed a rectal exam here,” offered the confused physician.  “But I would’ve then expected to see guaiac cards and solution.”

“Could the person who used this been trying grease his or her pager to get it out of its holster?  I remember one time when I had to dip my pager in coconut oil to have a smoother pager draw.  Or maybe the doctor had chapped lips!  Yeah, that’s it!  I hear some people use KY Jelly as lip balm, right?  Right?!”

Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram begrudgingly began to review the call schedule to see who was in the room the previous night, but then stopped himself because he figured he’d rather just not know.  The hospitalist became even more concerned about the possibility of “the unthinkable” when he noticed that the TV channel in the room had been left on the E! Entertainment Network.

“You know, I was thinking about taking a cat nap for the next hour or two but I think I’d rather just stay up and do some charting and coding query responses,” whispered Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, before using a napkin on the sleep room door handle and rushing out.

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  • Dr Pablo Pistola

    Dr Pablo Pistola had become increasingly dissatisfied with satisfaction-based forces in medicine. He felt like a doctor without a purpose. He subsequently embarked on a 7 year twerking quest in the Himalayan foothills to find his true calling. During this journey, he realized that he has a secret talent: his immense knowledge about women. He understands them. Legend has it that he can size up a woman’s soul in a mere instant. He didn’t ask for these powers. But with great powers come great responsibilities. So Dr Pablo Pistola (double-board certified in Love Medicine & Romance Medicine, with fellowship training in Seduction Medicine) has been dabbling in satirical erotic writing. And if satirical erotic writing can offer a viable exit strategy from medicine, then the world will be a better place. His responsibility is to bring the stories of lust to you. He also is an avid life-long Miami Heat fan. Follow him on twitter at @drpablopistola

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