map my couch app

Map My Couch App Released in Response to Map My Run App

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map my couch app

In response to the numerous Map My Run and other workout posts that inundate newsfeeds on Facebook, a psychology group out of Houston TX decided to create a Map My Couch app.

“I was getting so tired of seeing posts of my friends working out on Facebook,” said 37-year-old nurse Ted Pikes who is sporting a typical dad bod.  “I really started feeling guilty about my lack of physical activity after seeing all of these posts.”  Pikes started talking to his other friends and found out that over 90% of his friends felt the same way that he did, but just didn’t broadcast their lack of doing nothing.  “That is when I felt like I had to do something to unite us unmotivated physical fitness guys who still wanted to post something, anything, on Facebook.”

Map My Couch is now an app that will record how long you have been sitting down on a couch or recliner.  After geo-syncing the app by physically laying on your couch, the app using GPS, will be able to automatically track how long you have been on your couch.  It calculates time spent on the couch, caloric intake while on the couch by utilizing the phone’s camera to record what food products are brought to the couch, and your pace (calories gained per hour).

“Finally an app that reflects me and broadcasts it to my friends!” said Tiffany Wilkers, a respiratory therapist.  Tiffany set a new personal record yesterday with over 9 hours spent on the couch during a Netflix binge session.  “The app posted to Facebook my time on the couch and even how many episodes of Orange is the New Black I binged on.”

Future app updates will include napping posts such as “Bob is 45 minutes into a solid REM sleep nap.  Shhh, root him on quietly!”

Developers are working on also releasing an amazing feature that will post dreams such as “Tina is dreaming about how much she hates working at her Hospital” or “Rick is dreaming about forgetting to put pants on before going to his med school class.”

“I was so glad to see that there were others out there spending as much, if not more time on the couch than I was,” said Tom Corniers, a pulmonologist.  “Facebook makes it look like everyone is happy, being productive, or going on a constant vacation.  This app helps gives the world a much more realistic view inside my life, and I feel better about it, since I see others doing the exact same thing now.  Gotta run to go binge watch GOT on my couch and consume 2000 calories while doing so. Expect a FB post soon!”

  • Doktor Schnabel

    Plague doctor from 1622 who practices blood letting and medical satire. My beak has mint leaves and straw to protect myself from the it looks good.

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