Gynaecologist Dr Francis He has taken a bold step in his private surgery by firing his anaesthetist. Dr He told Gomerblog his anaesthetist did not allow him to have enough “head down” during major surgeries. “I’m a simple guy,” Dr He told gomerblog, “I just want to take a woman’s bits out without her intestines getting in the way.”
The move comes as a surprise for many, the theatre technician told Gomerblog tensions have been rising for some time. “Dr He is always shouting “more head down!” The anaesthetist usually stops at about 45 degrees, telling him that the patient will die if he keeps going. Things get pretty tense after that.”
Dr He blames his anaesthetist for the conflict. “We all know anaesthetists are trying to sabotage everything. I’m sick of being told to turn the pressure down because the patient’s heart rate is too low. Things are faster, safer and more fun without him.” Since the move, Dr
He has begun hanging patients upside down by their ankles during hysterectomies. He says results have been positive. “It’s amazing. I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner. You open her up, and the intestines are completely out of the way. The uterus is just sitting there like an apple on a tree, and I pluck it out. Of course we don’t have long term data, but I can tell you operations are much faster, which we’re confident will translate to better patient outcomes.” He could not comment on intraoperative mortality rates.
Gomerblog tried to contact Dr He’s former anaesthetist for comment, but he was busy sleeping through a colonoscopy.