TACOMA, WA – Dr. Gerald Wood, the Chief of Rheumatology at St. Johns, was stunned to learn this morning that he is not objectively funny after having his article rejected from the popular high-impact journal, GomerBlog. Despite having published over 200 articles and written 17 book chapters, his submission was rejected within 8 hours.
“I’ve always been able to get a roaring laugh on morning rounds and at the monthly department meetings,” he said despondently. “I submitted my classic joke about the difference between psoriatic and rheumatoid arthritis. It’s always a hit at parties. I mean I know GomerBlog is highly selective but I thought it was sure bet. At least, I still have my residents’ and students’ support, they’re the reason I do this every day.”
“This is going to be a ‘[p]sore’ spot if you know what I mean,” he followed eagerly, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head.
GomerBlog’s editor, Doctor Ulnarnerve, said, “This is not an uncommon phenomenon. Our stringent review process only selects for objectively funny jokes. Unlike your average budding junior faculty, resident, or medical student, we don’t need to pander for a living.”
As of 10 am this morning, medical students could still be found sycophantically clutching their abdomens, gasping for breath at his jokes on rounds. None of them would speak to this reporter on the record, but on the condition of anonymity one student said, “Listen man, I’m just trying to get honors, ok?”