Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said the surgeon believes Sanders’ hernia was likely caused by the Senator’s constant straining while attempting to lift up middle class Americans.

“It really makes sense when you think about it,” said the source, who first identified himself as a medical student but then later asked to remain anonymous.

“I mean, Bernie taking on the task of raising up the living standards and financial security of everyday Americans is a tough job. Just think of the sheer weight that must be for a person to carry day in and day out,” he continued.

Dr. Phillip Gombardo, chair of the Society for American Gastrointestinal Surgeons, corroborated the anonymous source, adding:

“Chronic straining and heavy lifting could absolutely lead to an outpouching of intestine, or abdominal hernia, which is the medical problem for which Mr. Sanders was reportedly treated. Attempting to hoist up working Americans in today’s economic climate is an extremely heavy burden that – especially if attempted by an elderly individual – has significant potential to bear down on a person and increase pressure within the abdominal cavity, thus leading to a hernia.”

Bernie Sanders’ office was not immediately available for comment, but at press time a Sanders’ spokesperson had pleaded that the media “please not refer to it as a Bernia.”

  • Phil Neutro

    Homo-sapien, resident of Earth, avid breather, hobbies include oxidative metabolism & general homeostasis

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