medical student

Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word “Dolor”

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BOCA RATON, FL – Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word “dolor,” successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with Spanish-speaking patient Rosamaria Anarosa Esperanza Maricela Calderas-de-las-Cruces.

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Attending physician Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, in an exclusive interview with GomerBlog, offered details of the health care feat.  “That kid is totally cutthroat.  I was sitting at the nursing station and all I could hear were loud echoes of the question ‘DOLOR?!  DOLOR?!  DOLOR?!!’ coming out of the patient’s room.”

Despite the listed chief complaints of “vomiting, seizures and fever,” Gunner McBrownnose navigated through an entire review of systems by pointing to various parts of his body and screaming the “DOLOR?!” inquiry.

“Yeah, that one was kind of tough.  There was a lot of miming involved in that interview,” remarked the superstar medical student.  “I’m really gunning hard for a stellar evaluation on this rotation.  I want to show the residents and attending that I’ve really got this situation under control.  I know I could’ve just used the language line, but that would’ve been a sign of weakness.”

Attending physician Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram said, “I can’t wait until he presents this H&P to me on rounds later.  It shouldn’t be very difficult to poke holes in his presentation.”

Patient Rosamaria Anarosa Esperanza Maricela Calderas-de-las-Cruces offered her perspective to GomerBlog.  “It was so hard for me to keep a straight face during his interview and exam.  I just had to see how far he could take the ‘DOLOR?!’ schtick.  When he got to the seizure history part, I almost cracked up.  I mean, that kid started convulsing on the floor to imitate a seizure while pointing at his head & screaming ‘DOLOR?!!’  It was too funny.  I’m not really sure what good yelling the word did, but I started to chuckle a bit when his voice got hoarse from all the screaming.”

She added: “Oh yes, I also speak English fluently.  He just never asked me what languages I speak and he launched right into his ‘DOLOR?!’ routine.  I enjoyed the entertainment.”

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