“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over wanting that one pill that fixes everything: their weight, hypertension, diabetes, or what-have-you.” Dr. Doe went on: “Dr. Doe, they say, I have 6 prescriptions, don’t you have that one pill that cures them all?”
During a late-night Palantir chat, Dr. Fro complained to Sauron about his difficult patients. Sauron told him, “yes why don’t you come visit me I will forge a pill so strong that it will only take one to cure your patients of their ailments.”
Dr. Doe called his partner, Sam Wiseman, and said “I’m going to make a trek across middle earth to Mount Doom, will you come with me?”
“Of Course Fro,” Sam said, who has been with Fro Doe all through medical school and residency. “I won’t let you go alone. But what the hell for?”
Meanwhile Sauron called an old friend, Celebrimbor, to come and collaborate on this truly difficult task. They spent 3 whole days until the perfect pill was compounded. Little did everyone know Sauron once again snuck in the power to control whoever consumes this “one true pill to cure them all.”
Fro Doe and Sam Wiseman went on their journey to Mt. Doom Pharmaceuticals to pick up the One Pill. The road was long and bumpy, covered with pot holes. Dr. Fro Doe kept getting tired as he would nod off and suddenly catch himself awake.
“Let me drive Fro,” Sam said.
“No it’s my burden, my patient. I will drive.” So Sam played music, played pediddle, and other road games to keep him awake.
Once they arrived at Mt. Doom Pharmaceuticals, Sauron delivered the pill with special instructions. “If this medication works you come back and I’ll have more waiting. This will truly be the best medication.”
Meanwhile a cachectic, drug addicted homeless man overheard the conversation. He walked hunched over to the group, with a few long strands of hair still on his head, he looked up with is larger than life eyes, said with a high-pitched frog voice from the back of his throat: “My Precious!” Snatched the pill and ran off.