ROCKY CREEK UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL, STONY BROOK, NY – The worlds of anatomy and flight medicine were abuzz with an incredible feat of intravenous access by a flight nurse Ivy Star, who was able to put a 16-gauge IV line into a blood vessel that was as of yet unknown to anatomical and surgical sciences. The feat occurred when a dialysis-dependent 400-lb quadruple amputee collapsed at the local Chinese buffet.
Local Professor of anatomy Dr. Perry Neum reported to GomerBlog: “For a long time, I suspected that there must be a vein there,” referring to the now named Gluteal-soleal-marginal-oblique Vein of Star “but I could never prove it. This really is a great contribution to our field. After all, the last time ANYTHING new was discovered in anatomy was in 1982 and the whole thing is basically on its way out as a science.”
Ivy Star (whose name admittedly does sound more like that of an adult film actress than of a hero of flight medicine) has performed impressive deeds in the past. She has conducted simultaneous chest compressions while flying the med-transport helicopter, intubated a patient while bilndfolded on a dare and even convinced a local drug seeker to leave the ER before the Dilaudid enthusiast could even register for triage.
The IV line was used to administer four liters of saline, two bags of Hetastarch, and three units of packed red blood cells. The line promptly infiltrated once the patient got to the medical floor, prompting a 2 am call to anesthesia.