NEW YORK, NY – Dr. Michael Dante, a first-year infectious diseases (ID) fellow at Bellevue Hospital has recently received devastating news from the Continuing Medical Education (CME) administrator of his fellowship program. Per the administration’s official response, Dante will not be reimbursed for the $112 that he paid on StubHub for a ticket to go see the thrash metal band Anthrax during their recent tour promoting their album Worship Music.
“I was really surprised,” Dante said. “Even though anthrax is a rare disease in the United States, it is still relevant in many parts of the world, and in my humble opinion as a soon to be expert in the field, it has quite an interesting pathophysiology. And these guys, the band, basically put the disease on the map, you know?”
Dante paused for a second and shook his head in ongoing disbelief. “I mean, ask anyone who is not a doctor, ‘Hey, do you know what anthrax is?’ and 8 out of 10 times they will mention the band, or yell, ‘Hell yeahh!!’ And do the horns with their hand or shout ‘Long live Benante!’ Or whatever, you know?” He went on while showing the horns sign with his right hand himself. “Maybe the other 2 people will say something about the white powder in the envelopes or something like that, you know? Can you believe this?”
Per Dante, he plans to appeal the CME administrator’s decision. “That fat slob is not even a doctor!” Then Dante went on a rant about how one of the other fellows in his program was reimbursed for a conference in Canada on infectious diseases in the indigenous population of the Americas. “I mean who the hell cares about that, right? In Canada? I mean, I may as well apply to get CME time off to watch porn at home and how it relates to acquiring STDs?”