• 13.6K

ortho in van

PHOENIX, AZ – A tragedy occurred at Sacred Heart Hospital on Tuesday.  A couple of patients discovered an unattended orthopedic surgeon in a scorching hot van – with no ventilation.

“I couldn’t believe what I saw,” said patient Melissa Struggs, who spotted the orthopedic surgeon in the hot van on her way into the hospital.  “That orthopedic surgeon was just sitting in there, sweating and starring out the window.  It was close to 100 degrees outside, I can’t imagine how hot it was in that van!”

The orthopedic surgeon was left in the van by his colleagues while he was apparently sleeping.  “We didn’t even notice that he wasn’t with us,” said neurosurgeon Dr. Cheetum.  “It’s not like we do this all the time, usually we leave the van running while we run into the store real quick.  He’d be alone for two minutes tops.”

“We are responsible surgeons,” Dr. Haskert, a general surgeon, said.  “We typically leave some water in there, park in the shade, and crack a window.  So he’s comfortable and can interact with the patients walking into the hospital.  We love our orthopedic surgeons.  I feel pretty terrible about it.”

Hospitalist Jeff Tamor added: “You hear about orthopedic surgeons being left in hot vans all the time, and all the dangers that are associated with it.  I never thought it would happen to us.”

After an unanswered overhead page for the owner of the blue van, some patients started to worry.  “We tried talking to him, but when it became apparent he didn’t know how to unlock the door, and only knew how to fix broken bones, we had to take action,” said concern patient Dennis Heat.  “I think he was supposed to fix my ACL today.  So I found a rock and broke the window.”

UPDATE (06/29/16 8 PM)
The Stryker Rep was called to help.  He showed up 2 hours late and with the wrong set of keys.

  • 13.6K
Lord Lockwell
Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.