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Now that you can’t say “ER” anymore when referring to the place where drug-seekers go to get Dilaudid, it can be a bit confusing when someone says “ED” if they are referring to the Emergency Department or Erectile Dysfunction.  The following is intended to help elucidate the similarities and differences between the two.

ededHaving ED (Erectile Dysfunction) may sometimes lead to very long wait times.  Going to the ED (Emergency Department) will ALWAYS involve long wait times.

ED (Erectile Dysfunction) is a bothersome condition that may affects 25% of males.  The ED (Emergency Department) is a bothersome place that gets on the nerves of 100% of inpatient services.

There’s little that a nurse can do to change your experience with ED (Erectile Dysfunction), while nurses can help make your time in the ED (Emergency Department) either a lot better… or a lot worse.

When you have ED (Erectile Dysfunction) you may feel embarrassed enough to wish you were dead.  The ED (Emergency Department) is a place where they will make sure you are not actively dying even though you may feel like you are.

Nobody likes to discover that they have ED (Erectile Dysfunction), and similarly, nobody wants to see that they have a page from the ED (Emergency Department).

It often only takes one or two painless blue pills to make ED (Erectile Dysfunction) stop bothering you, while it takes three very painful words to make the ED (Emergency Department) stop bothering you (“Admit to us”).

The ED (Emergency Department) is a place of work that may lead to an uncomfortable date.  While ED (Erectile Dysfunction) is a medical condition that could potentially also lead to an uncomfortable date.

ED (Erectile Dysfunction) is a potential consequence of physician burnout.  The ED (Emergency Department) is a generator of physician burnout.

While working in the ED (Emergency Department), you may accidentally get covered in bodily fluids.  The same goes while working on ED (Erectile Dysfunction).

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Dr. Ill N. Fill III
"The eldest son of Ill N. Fill Jr, M.D., a widely renowned carpenter (who also happened to have a medical degree), Dr. Fill III is a self-proclaimed "O.G.". He has never paid to be a "Top Doctor" however, he bears the title of "illinest doctor East of the Mississippi" and is "the popularest guy in the OR". He is very good at drilling holes in bones, and filling those holes with titanium screws. He loves to drill, and to fill. He has even drilled and filled before morning rounds, and once during a carpal tunnel release. He is best known for holding his drill sideways, a technique he has described and submitted (unsuccessfully) to multiple journals under the title "Gangsta". When he is neither drilling nor filling, Dr. Fill III likes to listen to hardcore 90's rap while writing articles for Gomerblog, which allows him to channel all the rage that other services create inside of him when they try to "cramp his style" and keep him from drilling and/or filling. His favorite pasttime is "power tools." That is also what he wrote down for "favorite food," "favorite color," and "sex." He may or may not be illiterate. But he sure can drill a hole.
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