With Sanders Out of 2016 Race, CDC Urges Those Still ‘Feeling the Bern’ to Seek Medical Care Immediately

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ATLANTA, GA – Following the announcement from the Sanders campaign that he has officially withdrawn his candidacy from the 2016 Democratic Presidential Primary Race, officials at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) are urging Americans who are still “feeling the Bern” to seek immediate medical treatment.

“As the Sanders campaign has officially comes to a close, it is imperative that any of his supporters still experiencing a burning or tingling sensation, whether it be while urinating, on the skin, or even on the tongue, see a medical professional as soon as possible,” said Dr. Tom Frieden, CDC Director.

“Feel the Bern,” the campaign slogan for the Vermont Senator’s campaign, may have confused many Americans into thinking that a burning sensation on the skin or other body parts were simply a side effect of supporting the now former democratic nominee candidate, explained Dr. Frieden.

“From a public health prospective, such confusion can be really damaging,” the CDC Director further explained. “We just hope that with the campaign finally over, these individuals can get the treatment that they so desperately need.”

At press time, public health officials at the White House had just announced the frightening spread of “Trump Syndrome,” which encompassed headaches, nausea, hypertension, and a sudden urge to leave one’s TV room.

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  • Phil Neutro

    Homo-sapien, resident of Earth, avid breather, hobbies include oxidative metabolism & general homeostasis

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