Gone are the days where medical students are assessed based on their knowledge or clinical skills. Pre-intern assessments have undergone a major overhaul, abolishing criteria such as professionalism and academic knowledge. In a controversial move, the assessments now only have a single criterion – baking skills.
Dr. Chun, a colorectal surgeon and board member of the Bestest Medical School (BMS), championed this change and was quoted as saying, “I do not care if my medical students cannot tell the difference between the small and large bowel – if they can make me baked goods that remotely relate to my craft, then they’re getting a job from me”.
The criterion is broken down into 3 key areas, each given a score out of 5. These include how closely linked the baked good is to the respective specialty (also known as the “Baked Good to Specialty Ratio” or BG:SR, for short), taste and of course, texture. With regards to the final, and arguably most import aspect, Ms Chung stated, “If it’s a cupcake, I’m expecting fluffiness, much like a Bristol Type 6. A brownie? Well a little thicker, probably a Type 4. Extra points if they’re stool shaped, of course”.
Bestest Medical School has released an example of what is considered a high scoring pre-assessment:
Medical schools have swiftly responded by introducing mandatory baking classes. Professor Ghunath, Dean of Bestest Medical School, recently released a media statement, “I have met with my colleagues and we found ways to cut back on less important subjects, such as anatomy or physiology. We believe that if our students can vaguely recreate organs in a delectable, baked manner, then they are prepared for the trials and tribulations of a medical career”.