cucumber water

ENT Physician Who Rebranded Ear Washes As “Cucumber Water Ear Lavages” Now A Billionaire

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BOCA RATON, FLORIDA — Millennial hipsters have been rushing to their spas to experience a “cucumber water ear lavage” which is pretty much the same as an ear wash but just sounds so much more refreshing. ENT physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, who rebranded this common simple procedure into a lucrative concierge service, is now a billionaire.

cucumber water“I was doing an ear wash on a patient with impacted earwax when I had an epiphany,” recounts Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram. “What if, instead of a peroxide solution, I used water which had cucumber slices soaking in them? And what if I rebranded the procedure name & made it a cash-pay service?”

When Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram started offering cucumber water ear lavages at a price tag of $1500, demand among the well-to-do suburban soccer mom demographic spiked. “Honestly, I was just trying to follow in the footsteps of the dude who started raking in dough for his nasal sinus wash invention.”

When pressed by Gomerblog about the lack of sufficient evidence that his procedure offers any medical benefit whatsoever, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram suddenly started pointing at his own ears and yelling “WHAT?! I CAN’T HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!!! TIME FOR ANOTHER REJUVENATING CUCUMBER WATER EAR LAVAGE!!!”

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