honest patient

Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients

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SACRAMENTO, CA – In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel last Wednesday.  “It started with my first patient of the day.  He said, ‘Dr. Arbor, I went to the emergency room last night for Dilaudid.’

honest patient“I asked him what for and he says, ‘I just wanted to get high.  I know I said I’m allergic to the other medications, but I just say that so they’ll give me the good stuff.’”

“I just didn’t know what to say,” recounts Dr. Arbor.

The next patient, a 2-year ‘non-smoker’ who always reeked of cigarettes said, “Doc, I smoke 5 packs a day.”

Not only did the patient admit that she smoked, she did not believe the doctor fully understood just how much she smoked, “You do realize that means I smoke every 10 minutes I’m awake, right?”

On and on it went.  “The woman with a BMI of40 told me that she did not think she had a thyroid problem, but that she ate too much junk food and soda.  Her husband even delivered a 60 oz Pepsi while she was in the exam room.  She held it up and says, I actually drink 2 of these a day.  It must be why I gained weight.’”

When asked about what contributed to the change in her patients, Dr. Arbor said that she had found a four-leaf clover on her way to work that morning.  “It’s now framed in my office.”

“I’m hoping that when I get a lucky horse shoe, my patients will start following my advice, but I’ll take what I can get for now.”

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