mri scanner

Hospital Discontinues MRI Screening Forms, Press-Ganey Scores Soar

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In a presentation to the American Association of Gullible Hospital Administrators, Shady Practices Medical Centers reported that as a result of numerous satisfaction surveys, the organization has eliminated the screening practices necessary to get an MRI for inpatients and outpatients needing exams. Despite minor incidents, there was a marked improvement is doctor, nurse and patient satisfaction scores as well as reimbursements.

mri scannerOne of the internal surveys demonstrated that the elimination of the MRI screening form and safety policies reduced patient frustration, resulting in a more positive experience for those needing MRIs. The changes resulted in improved patient satisfaction scores which helped boost reimbursements and improved the morale of hospital administrators.

Outpatient Ira T. Guy was one of many patients happy with the new policy. “I am so glad to see those forms go away as there were so many questions. Some are so embarrassing. Do I really need to mark the box stating that I have a penile implant?” Post exam comments from the patient were unavailable as he had a contrast reaction, pacemaker failure and a tattoo fire, resulting in a trip to the Emergency Department.

RN reactions at the hospital were extremely positive. One RN told GomerBlog “I got tired of MRI staff trying to find excuses for not doing their job by delaying the scan on my patient. Thank goodness nobody has to deal with that time waster anymore. Instead of calling MRI repeatedly and asking when my STAT patient is going to be scanned, I can use that time for charting and sandwich prep.”

Residents love the change as well. “In the past the techs would not scan some of our patients without screening them first and possibly needing a radiologist’s approval, but now the techs have to do what we ask. I’d talk more but I have a patient who was admitted for a sinus infection who now needs a STAT MRI of the brain and total spine, with contrast, on a patient with some sort of deep brain stimulator, a pacemaker made in Iceland, and several looping things I saw on the chest x-ray.”

A hospital marketing spokesperson fended off any questions regarding the increase in patient and technologist injuries, lawsuits, Type 1 violations from The Joint Commission, cancellation of ACR accreditation and the two letter drop in Leapfrog safety grades. “Our priority is improving patient satisfaction scores and the elimination of MRI screening put us over the top and now we get max reimbursements.”

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