Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’

  • 1.1K
    Shares

BOCA RATON, FL – Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the chief complaints of “fevers, Netflix & chills.”  Karter Smith, age 25, had subjectively experienced elevated temperatures while binge-watching “Breaking Bad” episodes with a woman he referred to only as “bae.”

“Bruh, sorry not sorry, it was totes cray cray. I mean, I can’t even.  We were turnt and right near the end of season 3. Then I thought to myself yolo, so I decided to put a move on her with the yawning technique which let me wrap my arm around her shoulder,” recalled Mr. Smith.  As soon as the patient decided to turn the evening from ‘Netflix-No-Chill’ to ‘Netflix-AND-Chill,’ “bae started throwing shade” at him and then he felt “all hot and bothered, bruh.”

Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, when contacted by Gomerblog, said “I’ve never seen a case like this before.  I checked all my medical reference resources, and they mentioned only a few sporadic cases of Netflix being associated with chills, most notably in the millennial demographic.  But I have not found any case reports of Netflix and chills being associated with a febrile illness.  I pray that this doesn’t turn into yet another epidemic.”

The patient’s constellation of symptoms has baffled infectious diseases consultants, who have now contacted the Center for Disease Control for assistance.  Gomerblog can report that, after Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayanlaram performed a lumbar puncture, patient Karter Smith was transferred to the ICU where he is now receiving a Dilaudid infusion because “it’s the only thing that works, bruh.”

image_pdfimage_print
  • Dr Pablo Pistola

    Dr Pablo Pistola had become increasingly dissatisfied with satisfaction-based forces in medicine. He felt like a doctor without a purpose. He subsequently embarked on a 7 year twerking quest in the Himalayan foothills to find his true calling. During this journey, he realized that he has a secret talent: his immense knowledge about women. He understands them. Legend has it that he can size up a woman’s soul in a mere instant. He didn’t ask for these powers. But with great powers come great responsibilities. So Dr Pablo Pistola (double-board certified in Love Medicine & Romance Medicine, with fellowship training in Seduction Medicine) has been dabbling in satirical erotic writing. And if satirical erotic writing can offer a viable exit strategy from medicine, then the world will be a better place. His responsibility is to bring the stories of lust to you. He also is an avid life-long Miami Heat fan. Follow him on twitter at @drpablopistola

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

emergency room

Emergency Department Staff Shocked by Prior Authorization Request

906SharesCHADRON, NE – Emergency room physician assistant Chester Preshuns was shocked last Thursday afternoon ...

anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Falcons Blame Super Bowl Loss on Anesthesia

10.5KSharesHOUSTON, TX – The New England Patriots came back from a 25-point deficit to ...

Hippie Dolphin Has Natural Air Birth

3.9KSharesTROPIC OF CANCER, PACIFIC OCEAN – Local dolphin, Current, gave birth to a healthy pup: ...

blinded by beauty

Patient Permanently Blinded by Beauty, Ophthalmology Confirms

69SharesATLANTA, GA – In the emergency room (ER), Emory ophthalmologist Sebastian Fovea confirmed the diagnosis ...

Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks

161SharesWASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. ...

vaccine parody

Top 5 Anti-Vaccine Parody Videos on the Internet!

342SharesGomerBlog reporters scoured the internet in search of the funniest anti-vaccine parody videos.  We ...