Today’s Allerlogical Forecast

  • 83

Aries: Have you been thinking about peanuts, Aries?  If so, there are likely peanuts in your future.  But you won’t even touch them, because you ate a cashew one time and your lips felt salty.

allergiesTaurus: This is a gratifying day for you!  You will annoy your pharmacist with your stubborn insistence you are allergic to all generic medicines.  A reward of a brand name medication is coming your way.

Gemini: You will eat some cottage cheese today and be fine.  You ate some cottage cheese yesterday and got sleepy.  You will tell everyone you are allergic to dairy.  It seems dairy, like you, has two faces.

Cancer: Today is not a good day to try your luck.  This means if you feel your blood pressure getting high, don’t reach in your purse and pull out a random pill when you were told to stop taking the one that made your face swell and your throat close.

Leo:  A long lost friend will visit you today, Leo.  That friend will bring you flowers, and you will sneeze.  Even a strong lion like you can be outdone by pollen.

Virgo: Information you receive from others will compel you in some ambitious projects today.  You found out a past friend was allergic to penicillins, so you will call your doctor on Saturday night to find out if you caught it.

Libra: Romance is in the air tonight.  Take your partner for a romantic dinner.  After you drink too much wine and wake up with a headache the next day, tell all of your friends about your love life and new wine allergy.

Scorpio: The lines of communication between you and those around you are wide open today.  Those lines begin to shut down when you ask your doctor to test you for “all the foods” you might be allergic to before you start your toxin cleanse.

Sagittarius: News of your upcoming success will arrive today.  Unfortunately no one will call to congratulate you because they don’t want to listen to how you are avoiding gluten after hearing that’s a good idea, despite that you’ve never had issues with gluten before.

Capricorn: You look especially good today, Capricorn.  That will change when you get one of your daily hives despite the third time changing all of your soaps, shampoos, detergents.

Aquarius: Sting me once, shame on you.  Sting me twice, and head to the emergency room because you saw a movie where someone died from a bee sting.  You feel fine though!

Pisces: Interesting information could come your way today, probably over sushi where you will be just fine eating all of the fishes, but tell everyone you are allergic to MSG because you get a headache.

This post is as scientifically accurate as an astrological forecast.  Also as accurate as your patient’s self-reported allergies.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Despite Difficult Labor & Delivery, New Dad Thankfully Doing OK

1.2KSharesCHICAGO, IL – Despite a long, protracted, difficult delivery of their first born child, area ...

Hospital’s New ‘Therapy Monkey’ Program Met with Mixed Reviews

379SharesAURORA, CO – Three weeks after its launch, an innovative new ‘Therapy Monkey’ program ...

anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologists Wish Patients Could Intubate Themselves Once in a While

1.5KSharesMONTREAL, QUEBEC – Tired of looking after every airway in this world, anesthesiologists admit they ...